Dad Joke thread (everybody welcome)

[Old Enlisted Marine]

What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company?


Monkey business

 

[THParent]

A slice of pie costs the U.S. equivalent of $1.25 In Jamaica
A slice of pie costs the U.S. equivalent of $5.00 In the Cayman Islands
A slice of pie costs the U.S. equivalent of $2.80 In The Bahamas
A slice of pie costs the U.S. equivalent of $2.45 In The Dominican Republic







Those are some of the PIE RATES of the CARIBBEAN.

 

[puzzler]

There’s a new restaurant on the moon. Great food, but no atmosphere.

 

[Devil Doc]

There’s a new restaurant on the moon. Great food, but no atmosphere.

Dropped dishes however, are never a problem.

 

[THParent]

Did you hear about the two iPhones who got married?

The photos were pretty good , but the reception was terrible.

 

[brewmeist]

My wife got mad at me that I constantly tease her about having no sense of direction.

She was so angry, she stormed out of the house and right.

 

[Devil Doc]

Why did the cookie get a COVID test?

It felt crumby.

 

[Old Enlisted Marine]

You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there?


European

 

[Noah22]

Why don't football player wear glasses.

It a contact sport

 

[Devil Doc]

I just invented the first thought controlled air freshener…..

It makes scents when you think about it.

 

[Old Enlisted Marine]

Is that kind of like pull my finger?

 

[Wishful]

@Old Enlisted Marine Like the finger in your avatar??

 

[Old Enlisted Marine]

That is Fat Elvis “Who loves you baby” have to say it with the Elvis voice in your head it will make you smile. Thumbs up (Good to Go)

 

[kinnem]

What do you call a Christmas wreath made of $100 dollar bills? Aretha Franklins.

 

[THParent]

I love it.

 

[THParent]

I was in a Peek-a-Boo accident and to make matters worse, they took me to the ICU.


(Don't text this to anybody, because you'll get a response like "OMG ! Are You OKAY???????")

 

[kinnem]

That one didn't leap out at me initially. Very funny!

 

[Jarhead713]

From the pizza shop in my hometown:

Knead dough? Now hiring!

 

[Devil Doc]

Little Johnny asks his father:
"Where does the wind come from?"

"I don't know."

"Why do dogs bark?"

"I don't know."

"Why is the earth round?"

"I don't know."

"Does it disturb you that I ask so much?"

"No son. Please ask. Otherwise you will never learn anything."

 

[Dad_2024]