Dad Joke thread (everybody welcome)

[THParent]

I think cottage cheese isn't really cheese.
It's just a curd to me.

 

[justdoit19]

 

[Rach3]

 

[justdoit19]

View attachment 15490

Hahhahahahhahahahahahahahahaha

 

[Devil Doc]

Of course this is a dad joke. An old dad.

 

[THParent]

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

[THParent]

Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

 

[THParent]

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

 

[justdoit19]

Our bacon lord is bored today…

 

[Rach3]

"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks."

 

[Rach3]

 

[Rach3]

 

[OldRetSWO]

 

[Devil Doc]

My brother was recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the expenses that came with it. He was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.

"If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be lower."

He smiled. "That would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts."

 

[docbowman]

What do soldiers do when they find a scorpion in their tent?


In the Marines, they kill the scorpion.
In the Army, they call their CO and report the presence of the scorpion.
In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there’s a tent in his room.

In the Navy, we ask the Marines to switch tents with us.

 

[THParent]

A tractor-trailer rig carrying a full trailer of Vick's VapoRub crashed on the highway at rush hour today, spilling it's contents all over the place.

Thankfully, no one was hurt and it did end up clearing a lot of congestion along the highway.

 

[flieger83]

Ahh...and they just keep coming...

 

[justdoit19]

That one needs the eyeroll.

 

[ARMARINE03]

If you get fired from the Unemployment Office, you still have to show up the next day

 

[ARMARINE03]