Good evening, Academy Forums,
I've begun writing my essays for the Naval Academy to answer the question:
In a well-organized essay of a total of 300 to 500 words, please discuss both of the following:
(1) Describe what led to your initial interest in naval service and how the Naval Academy will help you achieve your long-range goals, and
(2) Describe a personal experience you have had which you feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.
I have come up with a preliminary draft that I feel somewhat good about. I've had my mother read it, however she was not of much help and I'm still waiting on a response from my BGO.
So, I thought that I would come to here for some feedback in hopes that your responses may help, not only myself, but someone else with similar questions.
Please let me know if there's something that I should emphasize or change.
Thank you.
My initial interest in the naval service began with my father. My father—who passed away when I was 8 years old—served in the Marine Corps for 28 years during WWII, Korea, and Vietnam and retired as a Gunnery sergeant. I am proud to have such a brave and selfless man as a father and desire to continue his legacy in the Corps as a commissioned officer.
In addition to wanting to carry on my father’s legacy, I am driven to follow a career in the Marine Corps because I aspire to lead and serve others. However, I was not always this way. It took my 10th grade religious studies teacher, Mr. Bob, to teach me what true leadership looked like and to inspire me to serve others. In each class he would remind us of the good work of Jesus and how Jesus was a king, yet he washed the feet of his disciples. Although it took me months to understand it, Mr. Bob's persistence broke through to me. A good leader takes care of his people.
Seeing the importance of serving others and making an impact on my community, I began to volunteer at the local soup kitchen. It took adjusting, however, I soon found joy in the work that I was doing. I even found pleasure in cleaning the dining hall. Nobody asked me to do it and I was not being rewarded. However, I found satisfaction in the fact that I was helping to support not only the kitchen but make an impact on my community.
As I continued through high school, I found interest in aviation and developing my leadership skills. So, I joined the Civil Air Patrol. As a result of the hard work and dedication that I put into the program and demonstrated leadership ability, I was promoted to a flight sergeant position in our squadron. Although an interest in aviation was what primarily inspired me to join the CAP, the opportunity to lead was what made me stay. To me, there’s no greater joy than getting to lead, mentor, my cadets. I aspire to follow a similar path in the Marines, to protect and serve not just my country, but the Marines that I may someday have the honor of leading.
As I understand it, no person can go from being an aspiring servant leader, like myself, to a Marine Corps officer in a day. It takes years of dedication, discipline, and sacrifice to make it to that point. The Naval Academy is also no easy task; however, to achieve my goal of earning my commission and succeeding as a Marine officer, I must conquer the difficulties of the Academy. With each lesson learned and each challenge overcome at the Academy, I will be able to better lead and care for my Marines. I believe that the hard work and dedication required to succeed as a midshipman will make all the difference when I finally become a Marine Corps officer.
I've changed the names for anonymity.
I've begun writing my essays for the Naval Academy to answer the question:
In a well-organized essay of a total of 300 to 500 words, please discuss both of the following:
(1) Describe what led to your initial interest in naval service and how the Naval Academy will help you achieve your long-range goals, and
(2) Describe a personal experience you have had which you feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.
I have come up with a preliminary draft that I feel somewhat good about. I've had my mother read it, however she was not of much help and I'm still waiting on a response from my BGO.
So, I thought that I would come to here for some feedback in hopes that your responses may help, not only myself, but someone else with similar questions.
Please let me know if there's something that I should emphasize or change.
Thank you.
My initial interest in the naval service began with my father. My father—who passed away when I was 8 years old—served in the Marine Corps for 28 years during WWII, Korea, and Vietnam and retired as a Gunnery sergeant. I am proud to have such a brave and selfless man as a father and desire to continue his legacy in the Corps as a commissioned officer.
In addition to wanting to carry on my father’s legacy, I am driven to follow a career in the Marine Corps because I aspire to lead and serve others. However, I was not always this way. It took my 10th grade religious studies teacher, Mr. Bob, to teach me what true leadership looked like and to inspire me to serve others. In each class he would remind us of the good work of Jesus and how Jesus was a king, yet he washed the feet of his disciples. Although it took me months to understand it, Mr. Bob's persistence broke through to me. A good leader takes care of his people.
Seeing the importance of serving others and making an impact on my community, I began to volunteer at the local soup kitchen. It took adjusting, however, I soon found joy in the work that I was doing. I even found pleasure in cleaning the dining hall. Nobody asked me to do it and I was not being rewarded. However, I found satisfaction in the fact that I was helping to support not only the kitchen but make an impact on my community.
As I continued through high school, I found interest in aviation and developing my leadership skills. So, I joined the Civil Air Patrol. As a result of the hard work and dedication that I put into the program and demonstrated leadership ability, I was promoted to a flight sergeant position in our squadron. Although an interest in aviation was what primarily inspired me to join the CAP, the opportunity to lead was what made me stay. To me, there’s no greater joy than getting to lead, mentor, my cadets. I aspire to follow a similar path in the Marines, to protect and serve not just my country, but the Marines that I may someday have the honor of leading.
As I understand it, no person can go from being an aspiring servant leader, like myself, to a Marine Corps officer in a day. It takes years of dedication, discipline, and sacrifice to make it to that point. The Naval Academy is also no easy task; however, to achieve my goal of earning my commission and succeeding as a Marine officer, I must conquer the difficulties of the Academy. With each lesson learned and each challenge overcome at the Academy, I will be able to better lead and care for my Marines. I believe that the hard work and dedication required to succeed as a midshipman will make all the difference when I finally become a Marine Corps officer.
I've changed the names for anonymity.
!