All good advice already.
Yes, being the sounding board can be exhausting. Stressful. Tiresome. And none of that is necessarily unique to a SA. But it is to parenting.
If you are able to listen, nod, and say ‘I’m so sorry’, or ‘that IS difficult’, then keep doing that. For them to vent. But if it is too much for you, maybe try having her talk to DH instead of you? Or find yourself a battle buddy (PM someone here, or via parents club, or class pages) to vent to yourself.
I HIGHLY recommend her speaking with chaplains. I’m a HUGE fan, as they are boots on the ground, familiar with all things USAFA, and are trained and able to identify real problems. Bc those DO exist. They can get to the root of the issue and maybe it’s something as easy as changing roommates. My own went through some iso/Covid stuff back in the day and they were instrumental in his successfully getting through his stuff (gf dumped him too…but he is thriving now!). And I also chatted with them (with DS’s permission, but nothing private).
What I’m getting at, if for you to also find some healthy coping mechanisms. It’s great to be their sounding board, but also a curse. My experience with becoming an adult, is soon this part will end. They will be confident and have the skills to manage their own lives. And/or a significant other/peer group that will become her sounding board. This took a little longer with my DD than with my DS’s, but it has happened with all of them.
Hang in there! And know that the worst thing that can happen, isn’t the end of the world. No matter what, we all get through our STUFF. She won’t be able to actually quit without a long, reflective process. And if that ultimately happens, y’all move on. Not the first time it’s happens and it doesnt happen quickly or without discernment.
This is her journey. She will need to own it. Work through it. And the outcome will be even sweeter bc it was HERS.