I-day gear lost

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LB350

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When we saw our son after the ceremony he said half his gear was lost. He had marked it but the bag didn't make it to his room. We haven't done anything and don't want to be helicopter parents but I would feel much better if I knew they found his stuff. He was afraid they would give up looking for his things, which included his passport, paperwork, and most of his clothes from the sound of it.
We should hear from him in a week. Should I just wait to find out then what happened?
 
LB350 said:
When we saw our son after the ceremony he said half his gear was lost. He had marked it but the bag didn't make it to his room. We haven't done anything and don't want to be helicopter parents but I would feel much better if I knew they found his stuff. He was afraid they would give up looking for his things, which included his passport, paperwork, and most of his clothes from the sound of it.
We should hear from him in a week. Should I just wait to find out then what happened?
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It’ll turn up is my guess. Might’ve even gotten later that night. Maybe the mando letter they were supposed to write that night will convey the results.

He and the detailers will figure it out.
 
Yes, wait. Don’t be surprised if during your phone call, he will have experienced so much since he saw you last that he might say “yeah, I got it back” and he’s on to other things, in stark comparison to the time you’ve spent thinking about it.

This is a great exercise in recognizing the secondary and tertiary consequences of successfully launching a son or daughter in a fairly definitive way, because they are active duty military now, not just away at college on a rebounding tether. They are going to be out of reach, out of sight, and you may or may not know about life’s big and little problems they encounter. They will solve it somehow, or it will be solved for them, but not by you. This is the time where you realize you yourself are transitioning from everyday coach and fix-it advisor with close-up views of pretty much everything going on in their lives, to remote consultant.

As others have pointed out, his detailers are responsible for him now, even as he will be in just a few years. Things are going to go wrong. You can reclaim time in your life after nearly 2 decades of 360 degree presence and support. You are still there for him, if he needs you, but much more passively. From here on out, you will not have quite the same ringside seat. You will not know or see everything going on in his life. Mourn this as a life stage that is complete, and as I often write here on SAF, rejoice in the fact you taught him to fly, now step back and watch him soar.
 
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My son took a lacrosse bag in addition to his personal bag. During our meeting time after Oath he said the lacrosse bag was "somewhere", his detailer said they would get it. He had put a notecard in it with his company and name. My guess is both of our kids have their stuff by now.
 
Huursoldaat said:
...My guess is both of our kids have their stuff by now...
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That would be my guess as well, but they aren't kids anymore. Plebe Summer is designed to change them from civilian to military and to assimilate them into The Brigade of Midshipmen by reform. I-Day is a shock to a lot of them, because that's when they realize that they're in the "military" now and it's not like what they think they know from TV or the movies.

That sounds awful, but it's not. They will learn that too. :)
 
Thanks all. I know it is time to let go and let him solve his own problems. That is why I reached out here instead of somewhere official, to reassure my heart of what my brain already knows. Thanks for the assurance. Time to go back to immensely proud instead of immensely worried.
 
This thread made me chuckle. My (now) Ensign is doing all the stuff they do at this stage in their lives. Including getting married!! International travel with current flight problems (holy cow that was an adventure!!), obtaining 2 new places to live, two different sides of the country. Managing the move and deposits etc. And for someone who hasn’t done this part of ‘adulting’ yet, it reminds me of the shock of plebe summer! But this go around, two things are different: my trust and confidence in HIM, and knowing it’s ‘not my circus, not my monkey’. Ahhhh…feet up in the recliner 😂

At this point in his life/training, and pertinent to this thread, is what I’ve heard him say 3k times through this short 6 weeks since graduation, on this weird transition time: “it’ll all work out”. His mantra.

Seriously, it will. Even if all is lost….he will get through it and learn a lot about HOW to get through it. And that’s a huge part of training. For any kiddo who has left the nest. And someday, he will be the upperclass helping the new plebe ‘how to get through it’, with an empathetic perspective others don’t have. It’s actually pretty cool.
 
LB350 said:
Thanks all. I know it is time to let go and let him solve his own problems. That is why I reached out here instead of somewhere official, to reassure my heart of what my brain already knows. Thanks for the assurance. Time to go back to immensely proud instead of immensely worried.
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My girl wrote us last summer saying her laundry was missing. I was thinking well that is a bummer. When we spoke on our second call she said yes it was missing for 10 days and then was found. Her squad leader was helpful in finding it. She said she was just wearing her dirty stuff. She was laughing about it saying no big deal. I was like thank goodness she is laid back. I would have freaked! Things like this happen at USNA. It will be found.
 
Great advice and perspective above. I did not go to an Academy and can't comment directly on the issue but I can share that this military "machine" presents countless learning experiences (good and bad) for everyone involved. The Plebe will learn to handle unexpected situations, deal with stress, etc. The detailers will learn to take care of their charges. Peers will learn how to bond as a unit and help each other.

Missing gear is part of the journey - perhaps it is inevitable or perhaps planned? I recall we were required to mark our gear under time stress and duress. Shortly after we were called outside the barracks and promptly orders to dump everything in a pile. Then ordered to collect our gear. What started as an individual hunt turned into a group exercise in cooperation. Woe to the candidate who had failed to mark his gear. In the end, everything got sorted, the Sergeant Instructors knew everything was marked, AND... teamwork and unit cohesion had started. Pretty amazing when you think about it!
 
This I’ve learned through DD’s four years along the Severn: They’ll figure it out. And if they don’t, they’ll learn to live with it.

Speaking of uniforms specifically: DD went a couple weeks without summer-white pants, which were lost in the laundry; she lived with it. DD approached a major milestone without her summer-white skirt, which was lost in the laundry; she figured it out.

Notice a theme? Things get lost at USNA, especially in the laundry. And the mids either figure it out or learn to live with it. 🤫
 
MidCakePa said:
This I’ve learned through DD’s four years along the Severn: They’ll figure it out. And if they don’t, they’ll learn to live with it.

Speaking of uniforms specifically: DD went a couple weeks without summer-white pants, which were lost in the laundry; she lived with it. DD approached a major milestone without her summer-white skirt, which was lost in the laundry; she figured it out.

Notice a theme? Things get lost at USNA, especially in the laundry. And the mids either figure it out or learn to live with it. 🤫
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I'll second the laundry. Great people who work in the Laundry Facility, but stuff does get lost. I sent a bag in as a 3/C once and got back as a 1/C. Self-serve laundry is worth it in my opinion. You have to pay, but you get do laundry how you want (your detergent, fabric softener, dryer sheets, etc.) and you get it back same day instead of at the end of the week.

USNA Dry Cleaning is unmatched though. Good creases and they can get any stain out.
 
During Sub week of PROTRAMID, DS learned the lesson of ensuring all lockers and stuff is secure at all times in the berthing area. A fellow MIDN did not secure a drawer and during maneuvers the drawer flew open and the contents came out landing on my sons backpack with his glasses in it. Smashed to pieces. He only had one pair of contacts which he used as much as possible and then went "blind". When he told his mom and I, my wife was in total mom mode about sending his backup glasses (both pairs he had sent home with us for the summer). He was not worried, DW was freaking out and I was just laughing asking him how HE wanted to solve it. Mom's are slower to let then dad's in my opinion.
 
Usnavy2019 said:
I'll second the laundry. Great people who work in the Laundry Facility, but stuff does get lost. I sent a bag in as a 3/C once and got back as a 1/C. Self-serve laundry is worth it in my opinion. You have to pay, but you get do laundry how you want (your detergent, fabric softener, dryer sheets, etc.) and you get it back same day instead of at the end of the week.
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DS had a laundry bag lost for several weeks during PS and had to borrow gear from other mates until it was found. Detailers were aware and made sure to get him through until his stuff showed up.
 
The “tossing everyone’s stuff into a pile and forcing you to sort out by name and alpha code“ happened during our PS. There were a few who hadn’t marked everything. They generally figured their stuff based on sizes. If several folks had the same size, it was mostly interchangeable— this was one of the first days of PS when most stuff had yet to be worn. 😀
 
THParent said:
No!
You misunderstand. My kid is still my kid too, but when you see them after Pledge Summer they don't seem like kids anymore! :biggrin:
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I was out doing yard work for a while and I think I'm starting to like "my MID". Sounds like "my Kid" but has a subtle but important distinction.
 
First trip home at Christmas, DS waited at the baggage claim forever. Clearly, his bag was UA (unauthorized absence). We went to the car, and he went to baggage services. He came out later and said it would be delivered 60 miles to our home the next day. He argued for a credit for the inconvenience, won, and seemed so chill, no stress visible. An overseas trip during zero block plebe year probably honed his travel skills.

I asked him why he was so comfortable and not worried about hundreds of dollars in uniforms and small token Christmas gifts. He said he had personal property insurance through USAA, his laptop was on his person and he had a uniform in his carry-on.

Plebe summer, plebe year, it all makes a huge difference in their capabilities and confidence.
 
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