Is my answer to the "Why you want to attend..." informative enough?

My DS went to three (3) MOC nomination interviews and was positive that he thouroughly tanked them all.
He got 2 out of 3 nominations and was dumbfounded at his good fortune.

I read his essays and they sounded like something that only he could write, about him.
You know what I mean?
 
time2 said:
Random internet strangers really know nothing about your background.
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+1 to @time2. Want to know if your essay is any good? Do these two things:

Have an English teacher (or someone else who writes for a living) check it for structure, phrasing, grammar and spelling.

Have someone who knows you very well, and is willing to provide candid feedback, read it a couple times. That person, not us internet strangers, is in the best position to call BS and to tell you whether this is the authentic you.
 
scottiebar said:
The people I want to work with are Naval fighter pilots; their reportedly more serious attitude towards work compared to Marine and Air Force pilots fits well with my want to “right the wrongs” ... One must be an officer to serve as a pilot in the military, and there is no better institution than the Naval Academy when it comes to preparing future leaders to assume this role.
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I don't really see the need for hate against Air Force and Marine pilots here. Both are extremely professional, and as a Naval aviator you'll go through training with Marine Pilots as well. To that effect, calling Marine pilots unprofessional would also partly contribute to the fact that it would make Naval Aviators unprofessional as well. Also, as other users have said, I'd say putting down multiple communities. At the end of the day, the SA's job is to produce officers. Where they'll serve is an after thought. Who knows, 4 years from now you may decide you want to be a Submariner, SWO, join NSW, or even want to be a Marine. Plus, you could also get medically dq from aviation, not saying its going to happen, but its a real possibility.

Other than that, the rest is solid, and like MidCakePa said, good job making it personal and not generic.
 
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