I am currently a Plebe at USNA. It took me a while to get here. Out of high school, I was motivated to go, but got denied and went to NROTC at a great engineering school. Long story short, I met my really amazing girlfriend and I was content with the school and NROTC, where I was doing well. But I still had a desire to go to USNA even though I knew I had a good gig. At the time, I didn't mind spending that extra year to retake many of the same classes and repeat a 4/C year. I said what the heck, and reapplied to see if I would get in. And I did. I was faced with a hard decision of leaving my school and NROTC program and primarily my girlfriend or staying to give up a dream. Well, I choose what my older self would tell my younger self. I didn't want to make a decision primarily based on a girl. After all, I could have stayed for her and then it might not have worked out, and then I would have regretted staying. Or I could stay and possibly have it work out but regret leaving her. Presently, we are still together, but we have really tough days sometimes. Fast forward through an emotionally brutal summer and I still cannot find out why I thought it was worth it to leave. I disconnected our relationship and put us through turmoil just because I wanted USNA. Well, I have been here for a while, and to be honest, it is not what I thought it would be like. Maybe it is, but the decision I made has clouded my thoughts. People ask me how I had the guts to leave, and that they would have stayed. My SO and I go through emotional times, and we still want each other. And I wake up everyday feeling bad about what I did, and the life I walked away from. My question is, is this place worth it over NROTC? Was my decision rash? My NROTC company officers didn't have nice things to say about my decision of leaving. The bottom line is that I cannot go back, I would never get another scholarship, and frankly, I still don't think I would give up this place even though I have not found out why I wanted it yet. Sure there are great opportunities here, and we do cool things, but is that worth it over my quality of life? There is a very negative atmosphere here at times... Some people say they wish they went to ROTC, and others see their friends at civilian schools and wish they would have done that also. Meanwhile, I see my friends at my old school doing ROTC and living a civilian life, and at the end of the day, they will end up in the same place that I am. I want to be a Naval Aviator... It is something I have wanted since I was young. I just need help finding out why giving up everything to go this route was worth it.