"Midlife" MIDN Crisis

R

Rising2/CMIDN

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Joined
Jun 28, 2023
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I'm going to cut to the chase––I'm lost right now. I just returned home from my 2/C cruise, and I honestly do not know what community I want to service select to.

For a long time, I thought I wanted to submit a blue-to-green package to join the dark side. But I convinced myself I earned a Navy ROTC scholarship and should stick with the branch I initially committed to. Since then, I have been steadfastly focused on going SpecWar, leaning towards SEALs over EOD. I have a 295 PRT (less than 10 seconds off from maxing the 8:30 1.5) and had solid scores for my first PST in February. However, since returning home from school this summer, I've had mixed feelings about going SpecWar. I don't know if I really "want it." Undoubtedly, being a SEAL or EOD tech is an incredible honor, but I don't know if I have the same passion for joining these communities as some of my peers. I don't jump out of bed in the morning wanting to be a SEAL, which has indicated that I should look in other directions for service selection.

I would like to emphasize that I am motivated to be a future Naval officer. I am very content with my decision to remain a Navy option, but at this point in time, I don't know what I want to do. Being on a ship or sub sounds pretty miserable to me, and I feel like every MIDN I know wants aviation and has been prepping for the ASTB for months. I feel I am in a very weird position with most MIDN at this point in college having a pretty good idea of knowing what they want to do, but I'm lost.

Does anyone have any advice? Recommendations? If it is worth mentioning, I have a 3.6 GPA as a Tier 3 major at what I would consider a prestigious college. At this point in time, I feel I need a mentor with whom I can bounce ideas and thoughts. I should be enjoying my time off right now in the summer, but I am anxious about my future.
 
kinnem said:
Why did you choose Navy to begin with?
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I had a pretty impactful experience at a Jesuit high school where I learned what living a life as a "man for others" looked like. I believe
joining the military would be the best way to embody this ethos while taking the road less traveled compared to my peers. I come from a privileged background and wanted to challenge myself mentally and physically in ways I knew I would not be challenged as a normal college student. I initially wanted to attend the academy but heard about NROTC very late in the application process and was fortunate to receive a scholarship. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time in NROTC thus far. I am very much looking forward to the challenge of leading future sailors––I just don't know what community I want to be in.
 
Consider CW or IP. Yes, it's a long shot, but the quotas do exist. Tier 3 major may put you at a disadvantage, but it's not impossible.

Many opportunities to support NSW and joint SOF units. You can do some high speed stuff for a tour or two, but you won't have to live it unless you really want to.

There will be some time on ships and/or submarines, but again, you won't have to live it.

Overall, much more variety over a career. Might be what you're looking for, and an option not often considered. I encourage you to look into it.

If you don't make the cut as a direct accession, you can put it in your sights for lateral transfer.

As an aside, not at all unusual to be unsure about service assignment 2/C or even 1/C year. I saw some USNA MIDN figure out after Leatherneck or 1/C EOD/SEAL cruise that they don't want to do it. A complete 180 from the previous 3 years of preparation for a singular goal is not as uncommon as you think.

Also, surface cruises are significantly worse than actually being an officer on a ship. As a MIDN, you have very little purpose and very little to do over the four weeks. It's very different on the other side of graduation. It may not be as miserable as you've experienced.
 
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Nothing wrong with these feelings. There are alot of Mis having these revelations this summer. Have a lot of convos this summer and next year with other officers. Do as much summer training as you can next year. Remember there are options like subs and you can get dive qualified. I had many buddies do things like this. Or Pilot then did a FAC tour. There are lots of routes to different things. Good luck!
 
Don’t stress about this. You still have a full year to discern, before submitting your desires. Which, btw, may or may not be granted Aka ‘needs of the navy’.

It’s NOT uncommon to not know yet. At some point, over the next year +, things will come more into focus for you. Are you 5 and dive? Wanting to commit to a longer career? One (SWO) would lend to 5 and dive. One (aviation) would lend to career. See where you are when the time comes.

Get this out of your mind during your break. Or, if it makes you feel better, go chat with officers, etc. I think your focus will naturally come. Don’t sweat this, and give your mind a break and enjoy your summer.

I have a SWO Ensign, and he is really enjoying himself. Something to consider, is that the different ships have very different cultures. Big carriers are very different than ‘gator navy’, in both mission, size, culture, etc.

My firstie has figured out his desires differently than his brother. Different outlook, etc. At one point he was xxx, and is now thinking xxx. But he is in his firstie cruise, and may come back with yyy.

You have a lot of time left. Gather info, be open to the journey, and when the time comes I suspect you will have a better ‘feel’ for your best fit. Then you service request, and cross your fingers bc it doesn’t always go as planned. You have a great outlook, so you will be fine.
 
Some people I know got through their mid life crisis by buying a Porsche. For you, give your career decision some time to bake. Don't rush it. Things seem to come together when they need to. Good luck.
 
You mention feeling like you need a mentor. How is your relationship with you class advisor? Beyond that, you should have an aviator, a sub officer and a SWO on your unit staff. Talk to each of them about their community. What they like and dislike. Ask them about your impressions; you may find out it's not like you think. DS went SWO(N) and is about to earn his SWO pin and leave his first ship. He selected a forward deployed DDG and has had a great experience. His ship has been underway more than it has been in port. He has had port visits to some interesting places. He has had great mentors, both on the enlisted and officer side; gained experience and confidence. He has had sailors in his division who do great work and a couple sailors who did not and that he had to deal with. Even dealing with the discipline aspect was a good experience and he learned from it. I'm not necessarily advocating for SWO for you. Just saying there are great experiences to be had. Find your fit, embrace it and press forward.
 
ProudDad17 said:
You mention feeling like you need a mentor. How is your relationship with you class advisor? Beyond that, you should have an aviator, a sub officer and a SWO on your unit staff. Talk to each of them about their community. What they like and dislike. Ask them about your impressions; you may find out it's not like you think. DS went SWO(N) and is about to earn his SWO pin and leave his first ship. He selected a forward deployed DDG and has had a great experience. His ship has been underway more than it has been in port. He has had port visits to some interesting places. He has had great mentors, both on the enlisted and officer side; gained experience and confidence. He has had sailors in his division who do great work and a couple sailors who did not and that he had to deal with. Even dealing with the discipline aspect was a good experience and he learned from it. I'm not necessarily advocating for SWO for you. Just saying there are great experiences to be had. Find your fit, embrace it and press forward.
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This is great advise. Not being sure which community you want to pursue is not unusual. I'd recommend to keep all your options open at this point. You still have a year to decide, so I would keep a open mind. What doesn't seem like a good fit right this minute might change after speaking with a officer and learning more about a community.
 
In your unit you have officers from all the major warfare communities. Time to start asking around, especially about personal experiences.
 
Lots of people want to do spec ops , then over time less do , then less do , then only a few end up even trying, The draw is that Title.

The issue is not if you want to jump out of bed at 0500 and do a run. Nobody looks forward to doing that.

You don’t try for spec ops so you can do 0500 runs you do it for the work.

The work is what (should) draws folks in. That whole Title issue is far less important than the work.

And if you really want to do this work you will feel it. And that 0500 run is just the unpleasant price you will be paying,

Nothing wrong with choosing a different path
 
DS thought he wanted aviation, then spent a week on a sub, and said he liked the community and culture. He is reevaluating his options as he will be ranking his choices very soon (how did that happen so fast?). Lots to consider, and I always remind him he may not get what he wants.

Fast forward (at Mach speed) and he is on the yard doing Powered Flight. He is great academically and always has been diligent and focused. Even with his tough major and minor he has been pretty balanced and only sounds stressed during finals around Army-Navy week. Talked to him for about 2 minutes yesterday, Powered Flight is rough, he said that saying it is learning via fire hose isn't an apt description. It is more like Niagra Falls.

It also occurred to him that he has been in school for 17 years, and flight school would add to that. But, even if he were to go SWO or SWO(N), there would be additional school and learning. Marines go directly to the school at Quantico. Being an officer will mean a lifetime of learning as long as you are wearing the uniform.

I think it is completely normal to not have your mind made up. I would suggest as others have, to align with mentors in different services and see which community most closely aligns with what you think feels like a good fit for you. That's what I've told my kid.
 
Rising2/CMIDN said:
I'm going to cut to the chase––I'm lost right now. I just returned home from my 2/C cruise, and I honestly do not know what community I want to service select to.

For a long time, I thought I wanted to submit a blue-to-green package to join the dark side. But I convinced myself I earned a Navy ROTC scholarship and should stick with the branch I initially committed to. Since then, I have been steadfastly focused on going SpecWar, leaning towards SEALs over EOD. I have a 295 PRT (less than 10 seconds off from maxing the 8:30 1.5) and had solid scores for my first PST in February. However, since returning home from school this summer, I've had mixed feelings about going SpecWar. I don't know if I really "want it." Undoubtedly, being a SEAL or EOD tech is an incredible honor, but I don't know if I have the same passion for joining these communities as some of my peers. I don't jump out of bed in the morning wanting to be a SEAL, which has indicated that I should look in other directions for service selection.

I would like to emphasize that I am motivated to be a future Naval officer. I am very content with my decision to remain a Navy option, but at this point in time, I don't know what I want to do. Being on a ship or sub sounds pretty miserable to me, and I feel like every MIDN I know wants aviation and has been prepping for the ASTB for months. I feel I am in a very weird position with most MIDN at this point in college having a pretty good idea of knowing what they want to do, but I'm lost.

Does anyone have any advice? Recommendations? If it is worth mentioning, I have a 3.6 GPA as a Tier 3 major at what I would consider a prestigious college. At this point in time, I feel I need a mentor with whom I can bounce ideas and thoughts. I should be enjoying my time off right now in the summer, but I am anxious about my future.
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Two things. First I know a current STA-21 who switched to Marine Corps in her last year, and with the COs recommendation, it shouldn't be that difficult as a MIDN this late in the game (You would have to do OCS the summer after graduation and would commission after that as you already had your degree). Second, if you know you wouldn't want to be on a sub or ship, aviation is without a doubt your best option. Some people just get the ASTB, and it shouldn't take you a ton of prep to get a competitive score if you're cut out for it - its at least worth a couple weeks of study this summer before you can take it at your earliest convenience before service assignment. You have a much better chance for aviation with any passing ASTB than snagging any RL or crypto option as a tier 3 imo. Even my friend who was a math and arabic double major only got the CW SWO option, not direct accession. I had a tier 3 3.3 with astb 887 and I got aviation, so you're definitely worth a shot.
 
Small Team Bacsi said:
Lots of people want to do spec ops , then over time less do , then less do , then only a few end up even trying, The draw is that Title.

The issue is not if you want to jump out of bed at 0500 and do a run. Nobody looks forward to doing that.

You don’t try for spec ops so you can do 0500 runs you do it for the work.

The work is what (should) draws folks in. That whole Title issue is far less important than the work.

And if you really want to do this work you will feel it. And that 0500 run is just the unpleasant price you will be paying,

Nothing wrong with choosing a different path
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Great point, thank you sir/ma’am.
 
alboul23 said:
Two things. First I know a current STA-21 who switched to Marine Corps in her last year, and with the COs recommendation, it shouldn't be that difficult as a MIDN this late in the game (You would have to do OCS the summer after graduation and would commission after that as you already had your degree). Second, if you know you wouldn't want to be on a sub or ship, aviation is without a doubt your best option. Some people just get the ASTB, and it shouldn't take you a ton of prep to get a competitive score if you're cut out for it - its at least worth a couple weeks of study this summer before you can take it at your earliest convenience before service assignment. You have a much better chance for aviation with any passing ASTB than snagging any RL or crypto option as a tier 3 imo. Even my friend who was a math and arabic double major only got the CW SWO option, not direct accession. I had a tier 3 3.3 with astb 887 and I got aviation, so you're definitely worth a shot.
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Appreciate the advice, I’ll definitely be looking into ASTB prep soon
 
ProudDad17 said:
You mention feeling like you need a mentor. How is your relationship with you class advisor? Beyond that, you should have an aviator, a sub officer and a SWO on your unit staff. Talk to each of them about their community. What they like and dislike. Ask them about your impressions; you may find out it's not like you think. DS went SWO(N) and is about to earn his SWO pin and leave his first ship. He selected a forward deployed DDG and has had a great experience. His ship has been underway more than it has been in port. He has had port visits to some interesting places. He has had great mentors, both on the enlisted and officer side; gained experience and confidence. He has had sailors in his division who do great work and a couple sailors who did not and that he had to deal with. Even dealing with the discipline aspect was a good experience and he learned from it. I'm not necessarily advocating for SWO for you. Just saying there are great experiences to be had. Find your fit, embrace it and press forward.
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Our (now) lead battalion OI is awesome, SWO from the academy, has brought in several of their friends as guests during our Pro Labs to reflect on their experiences in the USN/USMC. I should certainly utilize them as a resource more often this upcoming year to bounce off ideas of off them and possibly get into contact with officers in different communities. Thank you for your advice, sir.
 
I think there are a lot of parallels of what you are experiencing to the feelings and concerns of any 20-ish year old college student. My advice is always the same: TALK TO PEOPLE. Make an intentional effort to go outside of your school and talk to people in different careers. What do they like and not like? How would your strengths benefit or match this career? How would your weaknesses hinder or challenge you in this career? Where do you want to be in 10 years? And what would be the best way to move toward your longer term goal… whether it’s career Navy or grad school or a civilian career.

Make sure whatever you pick (and I understand certainly that you then also need to be picked!) you are moving forward. Moving forward toward a goal either via professional training and preparation, or by discerning something you do NOT want to do the rest of your life.

Whether military or civilian, if you fail to engage and be in the driver’s seat (to the extent possible) and make choices for your path, other people will make choices for you. You have a year so I would make a detailed/monthly plan of the questions you need to answer to understand how to make the best choice you can.
 
Hello! I am currently a MIDN, I plan to get the PRK laser eye surgery in December and hope to apply for a flight package in the spring. I have been doing some reading and was just wondering if anyone knows if getting PRK could limit my chances on aircraft or qualifying for pilot.

Thanks!
 
My DS at USNA has wanted to fly for a long time. He didn't get any surgery prior to applying and being accepted. General guidance he received prior to attending was to let the Navy (insert specific branch x) make the decision and pay for and perform the surgery. That was the best chance of protecting the option for aviation.

He did the surgery in September. He has perfect vision now. Will advise was pretty damn painful for 48 hours. He doesn't complain about pain often and he gave me an earful on this one.
 
superbowl15 said:
Hello! I am currently a MIDN, I plan to get the PRK laser eye surgery in December and hope to apply for a flight package in the spring. I have been doing some reading and was just wondering if anyone knows if getting PRK could limit my chances on aircraft or qualifying for pilot.

Thanks!
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Neither PRK nor LASIK will limit your chances on getting an SNA slot if they go well. Both surgeries also do not DQ you from any aircraft.
 
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