Nailing Jell-O to a Tree

Discussion in 'ROTC' started by EDelahanty, Jul 22, 2011.

  1. EDelahanty

    EDelahanty 5-Year Member

    May 7, 2010
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    "Raising a teenager is like nailing Jell-O to a tree!" - Pima


    I doubt I will test Pima's hypothesis, since the truth of it is obvious, and it seems like a waste of perfectly good Jello.

    Early the other morning I was reviewing over the phone once more with Dip Stick the agreed plans for his 1,000 mile return from his grandparent' home in a refurbished low mileage car nearly as old as he is.

    "You need to divide this trip into two days. The car is old and we don't know how it will handle a 1,000 mile trip. Don't push it hard. Find a motel midway."
    "Plus you've never driven more than a hundred miles in one shot"
    "Remember, the northern route is flatter and you'll have a good choice of motels to stay at."
    "Got it"
    "The southern route goes through the mountains. It'll be tougher on the car and has worse phone reception if there's a problem."
    "Right. I gotta go."

    Fifteen hours later the dog wakes us with frenzied barking. He bursts out of the house yapping at an unshaven lout who's parked an unfamiliar vehicle on the lawn and is hoisting a cooler filled with cans of energy drinks.

    Naturally, he went through the mountains.


    A better use of the Jello would be to add some vodka, refrigerate and consume. Then nail the teenager to the tree.
  2. Ohio2015Parent

    Ohio2015Parent 5-Year Member

    Dec 2, 2010
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    I think your Dip Stick's long lost twin lives in Ohioland....if it involves a car or any type of machine, he will mess up somehow. Best giggle lately, DS has total-ed 2(two) vehicles in his short driving career, a speeding ticket and a few minor other issues. We told the military NEVER let him drive anything....when he joined the Guard last month, guess what MOS was offered....88Mike - truck driver:yllol::yllol::yllol:

    Yep, vodka and jello + nail teenager to the tree....great quote from the SAF:thumb:
  3. goaliedad

    goaliedad Parent 5-Year Member

    Apr 7, 2009
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    Driving 1000 miles in one day in an older car with high mileage?

    I did that for 4 years of boarding school trips with goaliegirl riding shotgun, ususally with all her worldly belongings packed behind the front seats. With a 8-hour stay in a hotel to refresh, I make the 1000 mile trek the other direction by myself. 2K miles in 48 hours (a couple hours for loading/unloading, etc).

    Last year, the drives to college got a little shorter (~850 miles each way). She even got about 5 hours of wheel time on the way home. When she and my DW went to the beach (about 8 hours each way), goaliegirl did a lot of the driving. DW isn't good for more than 3 hours due to many factors including RA.

    This year, she gets to take the high mileage car (a Mazda van with 180K miles) to keep at school. Given that DW doesn't want her to drive alone and the 1-way ticket back is prohibitively expensive, I suspect 3 drivers in 2 vehicles will make the trip next month.

    Strangely enough, I would be fine if she stopped at 1 of 2 friendly locations (friend/relatives) at either 1/3 or 2/3 of the distance (perhaps adding an hour to the overall journey) and stay the night (always best to work up to long distances), but DW is not comfortable with her travelling alone.

    I think goaliegirl is comfortable with travelling alone. She knows the experience of the long drive. She has GPS in case she really needs it. She has cell phone to call for advice. She isn't the overplan the journey type, but also isn't the just get in the car and drive type either (like OP's son I suspect). She doesn't have anything to prove driving the distance in 1 stretch and knows how to take a short nap in a rest area (we've been know to do that).

    Some may think I am crazy, but I think that these kids need the experience of a long drive. While I disagree with the caffeinated approach (our favorite driving aid is atomic fireballs), it is good that OP's son has the confidence to take on the challenge and at least attempts to devise a strategy to deal with the biggest challenge (staying awake).

    As to the old car issue, I just had the van thoroughly looked over and it is in tip-top condition after new front brake pads. I don't have an issue driving an old car long distances as long as the maintenance has been done on the systems that give you trouble (oil, coolant, electrical/spark, tires/suspension).
  4. paradoxer

    paradoxer 5-Year Member

    Nov 17, 2010
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    Atomic Fireballs

    Hockey playing DS can't wait to make the 12+ hour trip, especially the last hour through the mountains on the switch back roads - as long as he's not stuck behind a logging truck going 15mph. Wheel bearing repair today =$318 on the 11 year old car. If the car doesn't make it through the mountains carrying his hockey gear while hitchhiking should be great preparation for army career.

    About those fireballs, do you eat, drink, rub them on your skin or play catch with them while you travel? Truth be told had no idea what in the world you were talking about.
  5. goaliedad

    goaliedad Parent 5-Year Member

    Apr 7, 2009
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  6. singaporemom

    singaporemom 5-Year Member

    Jun 19, 2009
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    Raising a teenager is like being pecked to death by chickens.
  7. Bullet

    Bullet 5-Year Member

    Jan 9, 2008
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    "Raising a teenager is like nailing Jell-o to a tree"

    In a military career, you end up with a LOT of nice pictures, mementos, and plaques that somehow end up hanging up throughout your home. One of our favorites is a little sign that says "Home is where the AF sends you", with a bunch of wood stars hanging below in a line, the names of place we've been stationed hanging in order from top to bottom.

    The "teenager/Jell-o/tree" sign stands out as one of the few proudly displayed that isn't either patriotic or military related. Discovered during a family vacation at one of those corny souvenir stores. Brought an instant smile to Pima and I, and its so simple in its message, and Oh So true.

    Hit too hard, and the Jell-o explodes everywhere. Hit too soft, and you'll never get it to stick. It takes patience, perseverance, and persistence to get it right. And even after you get it done, eventually it will naturally slide right off and go out on its own.

    We LOVE this sign, hanging right in our family kitchen next to the dining table.

    And trust us, we ALL have those stories where we consider the satisfaction that would come from hammering it for all its worth just to see the Jell-o explode! :biggrin:

    Now? We're starting the search for the sign "Our hearts, and our son, are at: (insert base name here)". We're more than happy to wait a few years before we look for: "Grandkids are God's reward to you and his revenge on your children for their teen years" :shake:
  8. Pima

    Pima 5-Year Member

    Nov 28, 2007
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    Since my tagline became a thread, I decided to change it. This a shorter version of a saying once said to me when DS1 graduated from HS.

    "Pima, remember they are the picture, and you are the frame. Nobody can tell you what the frame of the Mona Lisa looks like, just what Mona Lisa looks like, but without that frame, Mona Lisa would not be able to be seen the same way."

    It is true, it is their life, but without our guidance things could turn out differently. Understanding the difference between guidance/support and directing is the key when it comes to that subject. For yrs, we as parents were the picture, it is hard to become that frame.

    Let the picture shine!

    Back to silly things re:teenagers. It is fun to laugh about them now because in a few weeks all of us will be wishing they were home in their bed in our house, not in their bed at their home (school).

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