NAPS Rescind?

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2024dude

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Feb 25, 2020
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As a senior at the end of my second trimester, I’m having a lot of family issues in terms of my father being diagnosed with cancer. As a result, I have been having a terrible mental reaction and my grades have dropped; I am currently about to fail one of my classes (IB spanish) with high 70s following two other classes.

The title shows my worry of having my NAPS offer rescinded, and I will express my concern to my teacher tomorrow morning.

What are your thoughts on this?

This long process was not for nothing and means a lot to me, and it will only make my fathers mental health worse if my offer is rescinded (he is very reactionary to only positives from my education).

What should I tell my teacher?

Thanks in advance, your time is very much appreciated.
 
It's what you should ask your teacher. How can I improve my grade? You might call admissions and explain the situation to them.

I would also ask, independent of your grades, how you would fare at NAPS given your father's condition? Is NAPS the right thing to do? I would lean towards yes, but that's me. YMMV.
 
kinnem said:
It's what you should ask your teacher. How can I improve my grade? You might call admissions and explain the situation to them.

I would also ask, independent of your grades, how you would fare at NAPS given your father's condition? Is NAPS the right thing to do? I would lean towards yes, but that's me. YMMV.
Click to expand...
Ok, should I email my BGO first?
 
I would first like to say... I am so very sorry for your fathers condition. I know how difficult this must be for you and I know working through these challenges is hard for anyone at any age.

That said, I would definitely contact your BGO and the admissions counselor at NAPS. I would also address the issue with your teacher, asking what you can do to catch up, if there is an option for extra credit or whatever would help secure a passing grade.

I personally don’t know how admissions would respond - but I agree with the comment above - are you ready to go to NAPS? Will you be able to focus on what you have to do to make the year promising for your consideration of an appointment to the SA?

Be honest with yourself and go after what you truly want!! If you know you want this opportunity - accept what has to come next (working hard to do whatever your BGO and admissions counselor say is required) and maintain your offer to NAPS... make it happen! If you received that offer, we all know you have it in you to accomplish whatever you set your heart and mind to!

Best of luck to you and I will keep you, your father and your family in my prayers...
 
First, it goes without saying that it's very difficult to deal with illness of a close family member and everyone handles it differently. No one here can really provide advice in the "mental health" arena. If you're really struggling (and it sounds as if you are), you may want to seek help from a school counselor, a religious leader, or someone else trained in such things.

So we can only help you with the h.s./NAPS aspect . . .

Disagree on contacting your BGO unless you have a particularly strong relationship with him/her. It's not that the BGO doesn't care; rather, there's not much (not really anything) your BGO can do to help you with this issue. If you do have a good relationship with your BGO, he/she could talk with you but can't really intervene beyond what you can do on your own.

It's only March. You have another full trimester which gives you time to regroup before May/June. I would talk to your teacher(s) and discuss ways that you could raise your grades -- can you do extra assignments, get more extra instruction, etc. My guess is that this isn't the first time your teacher has had something like this happen to a student.

As for NAPS, getting Cs or even a rare D is unlikely to result in the offer being rescinded. If you fail courses, that could be a different story. I would only worry about notifying Admissions if you actually fail a course or are certain you will. Until then, it's a theoretical issue. Get help, talk to your teacher(s) and work on passing.

If you do fail (or know you are going to), contact Admissions and explain the situation. However, recognize that you will need to be able to explain to Admissions how situation will right itself. IOW, if you're struggling with your father's situation in h.s., there may be concern that it will affect your performance at NAPS. If you're implemented measures to help yourself -- and are on a better trajectory -- that will be helpful (to you and to USNA).

Which brings us back to the question posed above -- whether this is the right time for NAPS. You have time to consider it -- no need to make a decision in the next weeks. I suggest you give it another couple of months. See how your dad does. See whether your ability to deal with the issue improves . . . etc.

Finally, again I suggest you seek help if you've not already done so. There are a lot of resources out there -- take advantage of them. Wishing you the best.
 
As usual I defer to USNA1985's wise counsel.
 
I concur with all that '85's advice, however one additional thought:

I know this is a hard time ... I've been through Cancer with my father (now deceased). It is full of emotional ups and downs, but my father was a very stoic man, and he made it clear to us from the beginning that he wanted us to continue living our lives. I was fortunate, at my age you expect these things, and one of the best things I learned at USNA and the Navy was the ability to compartmentalize and prioritize , so I was able to support my Dad, the rest of my family (I'm only son, so that in itself was a task), and work without much disruption.

You have a great opportunity with NAPS, and I would expect that your father wants you to continue to pursue you dreams. There is a lot of good advice here .. talk to your teacher, get your grades up, explain the situation to Admissions (i would add, only if asked), get counseling, and most of all .... talk with your family. I would look at the "how well will you fare at NAPS" question from the perspective of "what does your Dad/Family want and need?" You might find that the best support that you can give you Dad and family is moving forward and succeeding with your quest rather than staying close and worrying.
 
You are getting a lot of solid, practical advice here. This is a difficult time. You will feel infinitely better if you are acting to resolve things, instead of reacting.

And, what is the best gift you can give your father and the rest of the family at this time? Not having them worry about you unraveling.

Be calm, confident and candid about what’s going on in your life, ask for help, develop a plan of attack, ACT to resolve your problems. Set aside time every day - maybe a half hour - to give into the feelings of fear, worry, anger, helplessness that threaten to overwhelm you, cry if you need to, then do what you need to do to get back into gear - pray if that is something you do, hard PT, deep breathing, physical chores.

There was a point in my life where I was grieving the loss of a close friend to brain cancer, while she was still living - and she told me to snap out of it, to “be with me now, Grace” (she knew my name, but it was an odd quirk of the disease, that other names came out of her mouth, and I think it was no accident she called me “Grace”). I realized this was about her, not me, and I started to take each day as it came.

Life has not stopped; it is going on. This is your new normal for now. Dig deep, find your inner strength, be the young man of resilient strength your family can rely on, focus on your academic recovery. You can and will get through this.

A favorite prayer, even if faith is not part of your life, which might provide some peace just in reading. This is from my father’s 1944 Armed Services Prayer Book.

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.
reinhold niebuhr (1892-1971)
 
OP, sorry for your situation. You are at a young age to have to deal with something like this. I was much older when I dealt with my fathers battle with cancer and I'm sure it's more difficult for you at your age. You have a lot of life to live, and I would bet that your father would want you to live your life to its fullest.
I can't offer much for advice that hasn't already been given, but your situation did make me recall a story that I hope will offer you some inspiration:
www.roanoke.com

VMI grad, tested by family tragedy, heads to Marine Corps

LEXINGTON — Drew Borinstein figured he was in for a life-changing experience when he entered the infamous “rat line” as a first-year cadet at Virginia Military Institute.
www.roanoke.com www.roanoke.com
 
A lot on your young shoulders...but this too shall pass. Be long term, goal oriented. As a mom, what would give me the most peace at this time if it were me in your dads shoes, was knowing that you are “set”. I would want to be getting my ducks in a row, and knowing you were headed to NAPS would be a biggie. As I would know you were set for life. I would tell you to lean on your friends/family when needed. I would also know that you will soon have an additional NEW family: NAPS/USNA. And knowing what I know about that brother/sisterhood through the last few months that my DS has gone through at USNA, I would feel such peace knowing where you are headed.

Your next chapter WILL be a be a new normal, no matter what you are going through presently. I cannot think of a better place honestly than finding and joining your new Navy family.

Good luck to you. Im so sorry you have to go through this. It WILL make you a better leader. #CancerSucks. Wish I could hug you!! Hang in there!
 
Concur with '85's post as well.

I was that cancer dad when my son was in the midst of his plebe year. Didn't want him to worry but needed to let him and his siblings
know what was happening. I had a big surgery while he was on Youngster cruise and a few weeks later, he spent his leave period home doing yard work. Throughout the next (12 surgery total) year, whenever he had weekend libs, he came home, often with roommates and did yardwork and generally hung out to keep me company. My guess is that you doing well and going to NAPS will help cheer up your dad.
 
1) Talk to your Guidance Counselor ASAP. They may be able to help coordinate things with your teachers. For example, my daughter had mono one semester and the GC helped her get out of her "quarterlies" (finals for each marking period) for that quarter...but then you need to be doing well. Could they do the opposite...take your final grade or something to use for your marking period grade?
2) You teachers in your non-IB/AP classes may be able to give you some slack...but with AP and IB you need to be prepared for the tests.
3) Talk to your Dad...you might be thinking "why spend time on studying when I could be with my dad" but he may want you to do as best as you can.
4) Drop any other activities that are not critical...drop clubs and maybe sports and concentrate on your studies.
5) Get a tutor or someone to help you focus.
6) Think of doing well in school as a gift you can give your family so they don't have to worry about you
7) Talk to a counselor...talk about things like are you self-sabotaging so you don't have to go to NAPS next year and be away from your Dad?
 
2024dude said:
As a senior at the end of my second trimester, I’m having a lot of family issues in terms of my father being diagnosed with cancer. As a result, I have been having a terrible mental reaction and my grades have dropped; I am currently about to fail one of my classes (IB spanish) with high 70s following two other classes.

The title shows my worry of having my NAPS offer rescinded, and I will express my concern to my teacher tomorrow morning.

What are your thoughts on this?

This long process was not for nothing and means a lot to me, and it will only make my fathers mental health worse if my offer is rescinded (he is very reactionary to only positives from my education).

What should I tell my teacher?

Thanks in advance, your time is very much appreciated.
Click to expand...

First, I am so truly sorry and saddened that you are experiencing ‘the hard of life’ at present, especially with your Dad’s diagnosis.

You have been offered a lot of terrific and helpful advice from the amazing forum members.

Honesty in life, and especially with your teachers is always the best policy. They will help you navigate your current journey and can only do so if you are forthcoming.

With regard to NAPS, do not rescind anything at the moment. It is never good to make a decision when there is a lot of emotionality surrounding and leading that decision.

You sound super mature, yet you are still “just a kid” and will need the help of those closest to you to help you navigate the best course of action for you, your parents input is especially needed.

Please know I am diligently praying for you, your Dad, and your family for courage, strength, fortitude and wisdom during this challenging time in your life.

Take it one day at a time, one step at a time.

I encourage you to make an appointment to speak with your teachers so they are understanding of your current pothole on the highway of life.

It will be okay. You will be okay.

We are all supporting you in spirit, sending courage and prayers.
 
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Everyone thank you for your heartfelt advise. I had talked to my teacher and am well on my way towards raising my grade picking up some extra assignments.
I almost had a couple tears in class when I checked the forum during my last period.
I hope other NAPSters or incoming midshipmen who are facing hardships may find your advise helpful as well.
 
2024dude said:
Everyone thank you for your heartfelt advise. I had talked to my teacher and am well on my way towards raising my grade picking up some extra assignments.
I almost had a couple tears in class when I checked the forum during my last period.
I hope other NAPSters or incoming midshipmen who are facing hardships may find your advise helpful as well.
Click to expand...
Keep your chin up young man! We are all rooting for you. Good on you for taking action! Prayers for your father's battle. I hate cancer!
 
I was in college when my mom got breast cancer, and she is almost 20 years into remission. This is a lot on your mind and heart, and to also be finishing high school and transitioning to your next great adventure is a lot to take in as well. My mom heart says to stay the course you have mapped out, NAPS will be your new home away from home and the Navy family will envelope you and support you.
Of course, you have to do what is best for you, which sounds like you have taken that first step by talking with your teachers. The sage advice you have found on this forum is invaluable, but in the end, you must choose what is right for you. Don't be afraid to discuss this with your parents. I can only speak for myself, with our youngest headed to I Day in 108 days, but I would want him to report to I Day, and know we were proud of him and waiting to hear about his experiences on his journey.
I have teared up myself reading posts and counsel on the forum. Hugs to you and your family will be in my thoughts.
 
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