Taking a lot of heat for choosing USNA over Stanford.

U

UnDon0

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Jun 13, 2023
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I filled out the Stanford application back when I was unsure if I would get an appointment to USNA. Friday, I received word that I was accepted into the Stanford Class of 2028. People at my school found out I got in (told a few close friends) and I've been taking a lot of heat for choosing USNA over Stanford. To me, the decision is obvious: I want to serve in the Navy as a career and already accepted the appointment AND told my BGO officer that USNA is my top choice. I've tried explaining this to people, but USNA isn't well known where I live and its hard to understand. Most people in the school probably think I'm just weird and leave it at that but there are a few friends of mine who were rejected from Stanford and are much more resistant to the idea. They've told me that they think I'm being arrogant by choosing USNA when they would choose Stanford in a heartbeat. On one hand, I do believe I came on a little strong in support of choosing the Naval Academy and can certainly see where they're coming from. On the other hand, I'm know that the Naval Academy is where I belong even if I had a Stanford NROTC scholarship. Any thoughts?
 
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You know what you want and what aligns best with your goals. You are fine. Congratulations. There are many pockets across this great nation that do not understand what USNA is. Thrive where you are planted. Be humble. Come back for op info when you are an upper class and help spread the word about USNA.
 
Your whole world is your high school community, presently. I promise that will 100 pct will change in a short while. Once you join your new college community, they will become your primary peer group. You will be surrounded by like minded people at USNA. Its really quite cool.

Their lack of enthusiasm is most likely coming from a place of ignorance. Peppered with fears from current political climate in the East. Like NavyHoops said, spreading the word and educating people about a SA is how you deal with it (if you even want to). Visit the several ‘your son or daughter is going where?’ Threads here on the SAF for some most excellent comebacks.

It’s your choice! Dont listen to others. And soon, your summer trainings during PROTRAMID will result in some jaw dropping stories you share with those same friends. It takes a certain, special person to do what you are about to do.

Find a good response….maybe something that includes the ‘#1 ranked public college’ or something 😆…and drop it like a grenade and go about your day. None of this will matter one tiny little bit.

Congrats!! It a huge accomplishment.

Here you go: 14 pages of discussion, plus a link to the original thread. Your parents might also appreciate this read 😉

Your Son/Daughter is Going Where?? Round 2

With a nod to the OP @skismuggs who started this in the USAFA Forum a few years ago (see link, have fun reading), parents and others over the years have shared the range of reactions and comments they or their sons/daughters have received when sharing news of SA appointments, ROTC scholarships...
www.serviceacademyforums.com
 
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You need to pursue your dreams. Friends in h.s. may not even be familiar with USNA so I wouldn't be concerned about their random opinions. I agree as someone else mentioned, you will likely never see most of them once you graduate and each go their separate ways.
 
Soon all these people and their opinions will be in the rear view mirror and you will be the one living with your choice. Consider their feedback or advice if you choose and then make your decision. Congratulations for your hard work and putting yourself in this position. They are both outstanding options.
 
You knew what you wanted, and have been given the opportunity to pursue that. They may not understand what it means to have the chance to go to the Academy, or what it means to want to serve.

As others have said, you will more than likely not even know/communicate with any of them in 10+ years. I have not had any real contact (outside of having a few FB "friends" in my feed) with anyone from high school in a really long time.
 
Perhaps you can still go to Stanford – later. I know a particular USNA graduate that served in submarines. After his obligated service time he went to Stanford and got an MBA. Later in his career he rose to become president of Sikorsky Aircraft (a smart sub guy!). In the Yard there is a statue of Vice Admiral James “Jim” Stockdale who was the senior ranking naval officer as a POW in Vietnam. Years prior, he attended Stanford while on active duty and earned his Master’s degree. Commit to what you want to do and do it well! Good luck to you.
 
In my corporate career, I worked with someone who attended USNA and then attended Harvard for graduate school. I also worked with someone who attended USMA and them attended Harvard for graduate school.

Now insert Stanford for Harvard and you get my point. You can do both. And when you see those people at the 10-year reunion, you can be sure they won’t be singing the same tune — whether or not you attended Stanford for graduate school.
 
Congrats on your acceptance to Stanford - as you can see others are envious.

I imagine what may come next if it hasn't already is your senior year goes like that of my children so far, is pressure from those around you who are wait-listed or deferred to regular decision (still awaiting decision) to urge you to decline your acceptances to Stanford and other competitive schools and to pull your applications (that you likely paid for BTW) so that in their minds they would have a slight percent increase that they will be able to, how does your generation put it, slide in to that school. The HS basketball coach was so relentless in trying to help his star player get into one school that he hounded my kid to please decline until I went into the school and had a formal meeting with the AD, house principal and the coach, to put an end to the drama.

Look, that's in a way a compliment, but you have zero obligation to pull your applications to SAs/ ROTC programs, or universities and as others noted you are welcome to put in a back-up plan deposit at Stanford or other to protect your future options until you report. You may end up in a position where you can recover/ be well by August but not by the time you would need to report to USNA - keep your options open would be my recommendation, and perhaps others will provide their ideas as well.

* OK, no cap, I know that's not really the way y'all use slide in, I just enjoy misusing this generation's slang with a straight face, Ali G style, to get a rise out of my kids and others by being this fire albeit sans rizz Dad they like to SMH cringe over ;)

I will add that at some point in adulting you have to get to a point where you are compassionate/ empathetic and yet you need to let some flack roll off, in the way that water rolls off a duck's *ss. Waterproofing is what we call it. Listening is a good skill - great for leaders but at some point you drive your own ship here and make the decisions. When others get the memo that you're firm on this, the noise eventually will fade.
 
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UnDon0 said:
I filled out the Stanford application back when I was unsure if I would get an appointment to USNA. Friday, I received word that I was accepted into the Stanford Class of 2028. People at my school found out I got in (told a few close friends) and I've been taking a lot of heat for choosing USNA over Stanford. To me, the decision is obvious: I want to serve in the Navy as a career and already accepted the appointment AND told my BGO officer that USNA is my top choice. I've tried explaining this to people, but USNA isn't well known where I live and its hard to understand. Most people in the school probably think I'm just weird and leave it at that but there are a few friends of mine who were rejected from Stanford and are much more resistant to the idea. They've told me that they think I'm being arrogant by choosing USNA when they would choose Stanford in a heartbeat. On one hand, I do believe I came on a little strong in support of choosing the Naval Academy and can certainly see where they're coming from. On the other hand, I'm know that the Naval Academy is where I belong even if I had a Stanford NROTC scholarship. Any thoughts?
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My thoughts: When they talk about you not going to Stanford, simply say "Thank you for your input". And change the subject.
 
UnDon0 said:
I filled out the Stanford application back when I was unsure if I would get an appointment to USNA. Friday, I received word that I was accepted into the Stanford Class of 2028. People at my school found out I got in (told a few close friends) and I've been taking a lot of heat for choosing USNA over Stanford. To me, the decision is obvious: I want to serve in the Navy as a career and already accepted the appointment AND told my BGO officer that USNA is my top choice. I've tried explaining this to people, but USNA isn't well known where I live and its hard to understand. Most people in the school probably think I'm just weird and leave it at that but there are a few friends of mine who were rejected from Stanford and are much more resistant to the idea. They've told me that they think I'm being arrogant by choosing USNA when they would choose Stanford in a heartbeat. On one hand, I do believe I came on a little strong in support of choosing the Naval Academy and can certainly see where they're coming from. On the other hand, I'm know that the Naval Academy is where I belong even if I had a Stanford NROTC scholarship. Any thoughts?
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Congratulations! Your decision is yours and yours alone. I commend you for blocking out what others expect of you to do what you know is best for you! Service is one of the most honorable commitments and it seems you are steadfast in your path. My DS also had great alternatives to USNA, he's currently there and wholeheartedly agrees that the opportunities afforded him at the Academy are incomparable. One piece of advice that I received from a mid parent and I passed along to my DS, you can never explain to those looking in what you see from the inside. You can never truly explain it and they will never be able to truly 'see' it. Since your friends are on different paths it' s simply going to be impossible for them to see or understand what you are doing and you will exhaust yourself trying to explain. Good luck to you! USNA and the US Navy are going to be glad to have a fine young person such as yourself who is committed and ready to serve.
 
As someone above said, when you're in h.s., it's your entire world. Once you leave (especially for those who go on to higher education), it's but a tiny stepping stone. Someone once said that your circle of friends changes every 7 years (with some exceptions). I've found that to be true. Most of the people who are now so important in your life will be but distant memories a few years from now.

I had a "legendary" h.s. teacher say to me (keep in mind, this was 1980), "Why would any self-respecting woman want to attend the Naval Academy?" She was highly thought of until her death. Not by me.

I had three classmates attend Brown solely because one of the most popular person in our class was attending Brown. Two of them dropped out of Brown after one year (they went on to happiness elsewhere).

Quite a few USNA plebes have other great options, including Stanford and the Ivies. Some come to USNA after one or more years at an Ivy-league school. As I related in another thread, a family friend turned down USNA due to family pressure (not to attend). He has had great success but has regretted his entire life not attending USNA.

Make sure it's what YOU want. If it is, go for it and leave all the naysayers in the dust!
 
UnDon0 said:
I filled out the Stanford application back when I was unsure if I would get an appointment to USNA. Friday, I received word that I was accepted into the Stanford Class of 2028. People at my school found out I got in (told a few close friends) and I've been taking a lot of heat for choosing USNA over Stanford. To me, the decision is obvious: I want to serve in the Navy as a career and already accepted the appointment AND told my BGO officer that USNA is my top choice. I've tried explaining this to people, but USNA isn't well known where I live and its hard to understand. Most people in the school probably think I'm just weird and leave it at that but there are a few friends of mine who were rejected from Stanford and are much more resistant to the idea. They've told me that they think I'm being arrogant by choosing USNA when they would choose Stanford in a heartbeat. On one hand, I do believe I came on a little strong in support of choosing the Naval Academy and can certainly see where they're coming from. On the other hand, I'm basically certain that the Naval Academy is where I belong even if I had a Stanford NROTC scholarship. Any thoughts?
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I wrote a reply last night, but your post disappeared for awhile (which happens sometimes), and part of my draft response with it. It included many of the points above by thoughtful posters, and I am glad to see the “Going where?” thread linked.

Well done on earning two nice opportunities AND having the clarity of mind to be reasonably certain of your choice.

Your friends might be feeling a bit stung, jealous, worried about their own paths or other uh-oh-high-school-is-wrapping-up-and-real-life-is-happening-soon feelings. Ideally, true friends say things like, “I am not sure I understand your choice, but if it makes you happy, I am happy for you and wish you the best.”

Navigating major change can cause people to not be at their best and most generous with others. If you need to set boundaries or want to address anything a bit passive-aggressive, try dealing with it head-on, but kindly: “I know you don’t understand my choice, but it is the right path for me to serve my country, which is my dream. Can I at least count on you for support as I embark on something that is going to be really hard?”

Be sure to be supportive and kind about their plans, choices and worries. Model the behavior you want from others. If someone is being particularly abrasive or mean-spirited, note in a quiet 1:1 moment, “This is not like you to be so critical or sharp about a choice I am happy with. Is there something going on I can help with? Are you worried about something, and it’s getting to you?”

There is also a saying about friendships, that there are “friends of an age, friends of a stage and friends the rest of your life.” There is a natural and inevitable close-out of the friendships of people you have been around in your HS years, close as you may have been. Life paths diverge. You are about to set foot on a path that can conceivably take you all over the world and expose you to experiences (to be fair, good and bad) and events your current friends may never see.

I went home at Christmas time for the first time after several years on AD in Spain and Italy, and met up with former HS friends visiting family. It was eye-opening, and I realized I had to carefully edit what I shared, because of the nature of my experiences I had been fortunate to have. I was in the best shape of my life and had fully embraced that part of the military culture. My friends, not so much. I had traveled on official business all over the Med to various ports, plus Alexandria, Egypt and Djibouti, and traveled on my own and with new friends all over Spain, Portugal, Morocco, southern France, Italy, Monaco, Malta, Corfu. Learned new languages. Found myself at age 20 with 65 people working for me in the Navy tugboat crews at Naval Station Rota, Spain. Already had 1 M.S. within 2 years using Navy Tuition Aid taking after-hours courses at the college detachments on base. My friends’ experiences to date had not been so global and wide-ranging in nature, and I realized how much our paths had diverged from HS. I respectfully listened to their updates, and heavily curated my own. One of those friends I am still close with today, she went to work for Delta Airlines, and came to spend time with me overseas. She was astonished at the responsibility I had, enjoyed meeting my Navy friends, and was 100% supportive, noting she knew this was right for me. That’s a friend for life.

Be confident in your path. If your friends continue to give you a hard time, smile and change the subject and answer the question you wish they had asked (like a politician), “Thanks for mentioning that, I am particularly excited by the various opportunities for a professional officer career specialty after graduation and commissioning, so many interesting paths, and the prospect of having a real job, my B.S. degree and no student loans. I understand there are several service academy grads and other veterans and active duty officers at Stanford’s B school, so I still have that as a goal.”

All of you are realizing the comfortable pattern of the past few years will break up in a few months. Do your best to navigate it. You’ll soon be busy with your USNA Permit To Report checklist. Class of 2027’s info can still be seen at the link below, and will be updated with your class info in the spring. Go have some fun and check it out.

www.usna.edu

Plebe Summer Home

Plebe Summer Home page for Plebe Summer at USNA.edu. Updated Fri Jun 16 11:08:37 EDT 2023.
www.usna.edu
 
UnDon0 said:
I filled out the Stanford application back when I was unsure if I would get an appointment to USNA. Friday, I received word that I was accepted into the Stanford Class of 2028. People at my school found out I got in (told a few close friends) and I've been taking a lot of heat for choosing USNA over Stanford. To me, the decision is obvious: I want to serve in the Navy as a career and already accepted the appointment AND told my BGO officer that USNA is my top choice. I've tried explaining this to people, but USNA isn't well known where I live and its hard to understand. Most people in the school probably think I'm just weird and leave it at that but there are a few friends of mine who were rejected from Stanford and are much more resistant to the idea. They've told me that they think I'm being arrogant by choosing USNA when they would choose Stanford in a heartbeat. On one hand, I do believe I came on a little strong in support of choosing the Naval Academy and can certainly see where they're coming from. On the other hand, I'm know that the Naval Academy is where I belong even if I had a Stanford NROTC scholarship. Any thoughts?
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Hello, I also find myself in the exact same situation. A downside to Stanford NROTC is the commute (~2.5 hours round trip) to UC Berkeley's campus.
 
.
I am 61 and my childhood friends are still my friends because we understand one another …

My advice … get some new friends

Btw … Naval Academy is the correct choice
.
 
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justdoit19 said:
Your whole world is your high school community, presently. I promise that will 100 pct will change in a short while. Once you join your new college community, they will become your primary peer group. You will be surrounded by like minded people at USNA. Its really quite cool.

Their lack of enthusiasm is most likely coming from a place of ignorance. Peppered with fears from current political climate in the East. Like NavyHoops said, spreading the word and educating people about a SA is how you deal with it (if you even want to). Visit the several ‘your son or daughter is going where?’ Threads here on the SAF for some most excellent comebacks.

It’s your choice! Dont listen to others. And soon, your summer trainings during PROTRAMID will result in some jaw dropping stories you share with those same friends. It takes a certain, special person to do what you are about to do.

Find a good response….maybe something that includes the ‘#1 ranked public college’ or something 😆…and drop it like a grenade and go about your day. None of this will matter one tiny little bit.

Congrats!! It a huge accomplishment.

Here you go: 14 pages of discussion, plus a link to the original thread. Your parents might also appreciate this read 😉

Your Son/Daughter is Going Where?? Round 2

With a nod to the OP @skismuggs who started this in the USAFA Forum a few years ago (see link, have fun reading), parents and others over the years have shared the range of reactions and comments they or their sons/daughters have received when sharing news of SA appointments, ROTC scholarships...
www.serviceacademyforums.com
Click to expand...
thanks for the kinds words. I guess this is just a form of growing pains and I'll take a look at that thread.
 
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