"Turned down"

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by WP22, Apr 14, 2017.

  1. WP22

    WP22 Member

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    "I just got turned down from the academies, so sad."
    Some snarky parent that doesn't belong on this forum: "oh my DS was also turned down, he fell back on USMA and was also accepted to USAFA."
    "Don't be discouraged! My DD, also did not get in. She reluctantly accepted USNA."
    If I see one more of these threads I'm deleting this app. These freaking parents think their kids are the greatest. Have some sympathy, some of us aren't valedictorians that have had everything handed to them on a plate. Parents should be barred from commenting on this forum, always finding a way to step on some kids dignity and put their stupid kid on a higher pedestal. We get it! Your kid goes to a service academy and they are smart/athletic. Get over yourselves, always living through your kids.
     
  2. Jcleppe

    Jcleppe 5-Year Member

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    This forum is, as I'm sure you're aware, a place designed to help those that are working toward a SA appointment or a ROTC Scholarship. This is a long process and everyone is able to follow along with all the applicants through that process. When the day finally comes there is both excitement for those that are accepted and disappointment for those that are not. Acceptance threads pop up and a list grows of those that were accepted., there are also posts by those that did not receive the news they had hoped for.

    I have never seen a post where a parent expressed that their DD/DS were the greatest, or somehow smarter then anyone that did not receive an appointment or scholarship. What I have seen is encouragement to those with the TWE to continue on and advice on how to do just that.

    Parents are proud of their kids and they post when they are accepted, what exactly would you want to see change, only those that receive the TWE are allowed to post, Nobody here is living through their kids, what they are is proud of what they have earned and they are in no way stepping on anyone's dignity when they post. Gaining an appointment or a scholarship is hard and frankly a little luck comes into play sometimes. Nobody knows exactly what the boards look for and every year extremely bright and athletic kids with loads of leadership skills receive the TWE, it highly competitive.

    You may want to walk back that statement about having everything handed to them on a plate.

    I noticed your screen name is WP22, I am assuming you are a junior in high school and looking to start your applications. This forum can be great help to you throughout the process if you choose to take advice. Just a suggestion, you may not want to start your journey with a post like you made above. That's what this forum is for, to ask questions and get advice, share in the excitement for those who are appointed of receive scholarships and help advise those that do not. This board is filled with applicants that received appointments on their second try or those that received scholarships while in a ROTC program after being turned down the first time.

    Take a step back to understand what this board can do to help all applicants.
     
  3. seacadetmum

    seacadetmum Member

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    I am a parent and extremely thankful for this site. Honestly I had very little knowledge regarding the process until I met a friend whose son was applying for USAFA. It was mind boggling to me everything he was having to do to "go to college". Then my dd joined Sea Cadets and SHE wanted to go to an SA. I joined this forum thinking I was being a helicopter parent but I wanted to know everything I could. Thanks to this forum I feel better prepared to guide her and other cadets in my unit that show an interest.
    As far as the "greatest dd/ds ever"...I get it. They don't say it but there is definitely an air of humble bragging going on, which isn't completely a bad thing. I find it hard to have sympathy that a kid didn't get into one SA when they have appointments to all of the others but disappointment is disappointment. I know USNA is dd's first choice, to get into USAFA would be great but it would involve rethinking everything she wants to do as an officer. The AF doesn't have marine animals to train.
    I read threads and some of them make me begin to doubt she has what is needed. I don't know if my dd will ever be captain of everything, 4.5 GPA, max ACT/SAT scores. We don't have the income for her top participate in every Girl's State/Young Leaders/super special University academic camp that's offered like some kids can. The BGO we met has told her over and over, just keep leading in Sea Cadets, do well in school, "and for God's sake do not join every club just to check a box! Do what you love and do it well."
    Soon all of the appointments and TWE will be out and I imagine those types of posts will slow down and everything will switch to medical clearances, nominations, ect. Hang in there!
     
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  4. Maplerock

    Maplerock Proud to be an American 5-Year Member

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    Adios amigo!
     
  5. JaxNavyMom111

    JaxNavyMom111 Member

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    I agree with @seacadetmom. There are some parents who do unintentionally or even intentionally state that their DS or DD got an appointment to one or more academies but didn't get their first choice and then go onto list their GPAs plus everything else which is totally unnecessary and somewhat condescending as they should have been chosen above someone else. I've also seen kids who get appointments who aren't really sure that they want to go. It is very disheartening to those who are dying inside to trade shoes with them. No one here needs to prove themselves or make others feel inferior. Every candidate is extraordinary in their own way to even have gotten this far.
     
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  6. Superior rocks

    Superior rocks Member

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    WP22, a little perspective: Here are ten things I have learned about parents in my 50+ years on this planet:


    1. Most parents love their kids more than they like other people's kids.
    2. Many parents live vicariously through their kids.
    3. Most parents are their kids' biggest fans--and harshest critics.
    4. Many parents feel their kids' "setbacks" more keenly than their kids feel those setbacks.
    5. Many parents celebrate their kids' achievements more openly than their kids celebrate those achievements.
    6. Most parents sacrifice to provide their kids opportunities to succeed. Of course, the level of sacrifice differs based upon parental resources.
    7. Some parents feel they are in a competition with other parents when it comes to their respective kids' achievements.
    8. Most parents' favorite conversation topic is their kids (only to be supplanted by grandkids).
    9. Most parents believe that their kids are above average.
    10. Almost every parent wants their kids to grow up to be good, productive people.

    Cut the parents on this board some slack, WP22. I guarantee if you are lucky enough to befriend their DS or DD at a SA, SMC, or public or private university, they will become one of your biggest fans, too. The reality is that getting into a SA, SMC or public or private university ROTC program is just the beginning. You're going to need all the support you can get going forward. Unsolicited advice: don't scoff at people who one day might be in the position to help you. And, remember, some day when you are a parent and you love your kids more than you like Maplerock's kids, we'll understand.
     
  7. Jcleppe

    Jcleppe 5-Year Member

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    Been on this forum for several years, seen all the excitement and disappointment.

    As far as those parents that list their kids stats, if you read through a lot of past posts you'll see many, to many to count, threads that have the question..."Please list your stats if you were accepted" People aren't listing stats and which SA's or ROTC Scholarships their kids have applied to brag or be condescending, they do it for those that will soon ask for the information. While knowing stats of other applicants is not a clear sign it can be a benchmark some are trying to find. Every year when applications start applicants come on here and list their stats and ask if they are competitive, the answer is usually "It depends on a lot of things" Sometimes someone posts their stats and they are obviously below the average, as they look through some of the stats posted for those that were accepted they begin to ask about other options as well. Nobody ever tells them not to apply but they will advise on what to work on.

    What we see more of each year is parents that question other applicants commitment to a SA, or wonder why they are unsure which decision to make. These kids start this process in their junior year of high school, a lot can change by the time they are required to make a decision that will define their life for at least 8 or 9 years. Everyone that applies and completes the application have in itself earned a lot of kudos, everyone that gains an appointment has earned that appointment or scholarship, whether they accept or decline the offer.

    It has always been advised to every applicant to apply to every SA they would attend and also apply for every ROTC scholarship as well. There are some kids that receive acceptance from 3 SAs, and also receive 3 ROTC Scholarships. Not sure there is a rule that you should not list what the applicant received or limit which are mentioned. When this happens there are usually a lot of questions asked while they try to make a decision which to accept. Nobody is bragging, they are simply stating a fact and asking questions to help with a decision.

    I wish every applicant on this board would receive an appointment or scholarship, but that's not the case and never will be. Applicants that are not accepted will always see the threads filled with those that were accepted, most come to those threads to ask advice on how to proceed from this point on, and I've never seen anyone not offer advice when asked.
     
  8. JaxNavyMom111

    JaxNavyMom111 Member

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    I apologize if you misunderstood my response. You are correct that stats are requested periodically but that's not the only part of the equation. I was specifically referring to those situations where stats are given by parents and not asked for in conjunction with a candidate not receiving the SA of their choice. Really high GPA and SAT/ACT scores don't tell the story of the entire person and many times not given. In many of those cases, you don't get the leadership, athletic ability, extracurriculars, etc. Occasionally, it does not come off well when they are upset that they didn't get the SA of their choice. I think one of the reasons that you're seeing more kids having difficulty deciding is because parents are pushing. I know two situations where that has happened this year. Both got appointments, one accepted because it was expected of that candidate and the other is waffling and hasn't yet but is being pushed by his parents. Helicopter parenting is changing the game. You are absolutely correct that they should want it but that's not always the case. I agree that most posts are positive but there are a few that are not. The forum is great for advice and guidance.
     
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  9. Blessedmom

    Blessedmom Member

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    Dear WP22, when you PM me asking about my son's info & district, I was honest with you & told you about DS in hopes of helping & motivating you, assuming that you or your son was a junior in high school interested in West Point Class of 2022. I was unaware you felt this way? I don't understand this post? 99% of parents here are yes very proud, but honest, humble & extremely helpful. They genuinely want you to succeed.
     
  10. time2

    time2 10-Year Member

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    As with most online forums, there will be a wide variety of people posting information. Some think they are funny making snarky remarks when, in fact it comes off to others are rude or condescending. You get the good as well as the bad and have to know how to weed through the information that is of value to you. It also helps to not hang on every word/thread/post, particularly if you are sensitive to such remarks. Applying to any SA is a competition and far more apply then there are available spots. That is just the way it is. Most on here are helpful and try to provide useful information.
     
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  11. raimius

    raimius 10-Year Member

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    Stop being offended by other people's hard work and good fortune.

    I'd be proud of my hypothetical 8.0 uGPA, 39ACT, 2900SAT, All-american septuple sport athlete child as well. ;)
    More seriously, the stats posts give people an idea of where they stand and what they can improve upon.
     
  12. fencersmother

    fencersmother 10-Year Member Founding Member

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    Ramius, you must be *my* child with those stats! I forgot I gave birth to you.

    :)

    (*I am JUST TEASING... so don't get your knickers all in a twist, ok?)
     
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  13. Fishpart

    Fishpart Member

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    My Children are my GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT (I am sure many other parents feel the same way about their children). That they are intelligent, learned to be hard working and want to serve others shouldn't make you upset, but motivate you to achieve the same.
     
  14. scoutpilot

    scoutpilot 5-Year Member

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    Y'all are ridiculous.
     
  15. brovol

    brovol Member

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    My son isn't the smartest, but his dad is.
     
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  16. DesertCaliMom

    DesertCaliMom Member

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    We'll just work on rooting for the correct football team ;)
     
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