Unexpected appointment to USNA

Congrats to your son. A big accomplishment he and you should be proud of regardless of his decision. Our DS is currently at USNA as a plebe. Feel free to PM me and I can put your DS and mine together via email for a Q and A if you would like. No matter how shiny and revered USNA is, my personal opinion is that if you don't ultimately want to serve as a commissioned officer and live the life of one, it would be a mistake to attend. Granted as others mentioned, you can try it out and not sign the 2 for 7. But ultimately, a desire to serve as a commissioned officer should lead the decision making.
I'm sorry for this question. But how do I send a PM to you?
 
I'm sorry for this question. But how do I send a PM to you?
Go to the top right of the screen, click the envelope. But there is a minimum number of messages and days required before you can pm. I apologize I don't recall the specifics.
 
My congratulations as well. My daughter was one that got a surprise appointment and she had never been to Annapolis before I-Day. She is now in her second year. She has had company mates DOR (discharge on request) and the pandemic hasn't helped. She, however, is as firmly committed as she was on I-Day.

She idolizes my dad who served in the USMC in Vietnam. Ironically, he does not speak about his service. But those circumstances obviously changed him in ways that makes him her role model. So there is that aspect. There is no one amongst her aunts and uncles that served, nor did either me or my husband. But that service is something that attracted her.

While she always knew that she was going to go to college, she didn't get serious about it until the end of her junior year in high school. We, like you, were prepared to support whatever decision she made and made it clear that it was her decision. She was actually applying for the Naval ROTC scholarship and the APPLY HERE button had her completing the pre-application for USNA and that wasn't until the beginning of the summer after her junior year. So you can imagine even her surprise when she got her nominations, her BGO approval and then the appointment. Her question at that point was HOW? She had good grades, but others had better. Her test scores were above average, but others had better. She didn't have all the AP courses that others had. She was a high school varsity athlete in several sports, but wasn't good enough to play at the D1 collegiate level. She held leadership positions and volunteered, but then so did everyone else. We had her ask her BGO and those that wrote her letters of recommendation what in her character stood out to them such that she would succeed at USNA.

My suggestion to you is to first have your soon reflect on why he completed the application and how he thinks being an officer in the US Navy (or USMC) can help him meet his long term goals and how he can better the Department. Then have your son engage in a conversation with his BGO and his references -- they obviously can see something in him puts the USNA in a position to help him achieve his potential.

Engaging in all that helped my daughter to realize that for her USNA is the best thing that could have happened to her, but also realize that it is also not for everyone.
 
My congratulations as well. My daughter was one that got a surprise appointment and she had never been to Annapolis before I-Day. She is now in her second year. She has had company mates DOR (discharge on request) and the pandemic hasn't helped. She, however, is as firmly committed as she was on I-Day.

She idolizes my dad who served in the USMC in Vietnam. Ironically, he does not speak about his service. But those circumstances obviously changed him in ways that makes him her role model. So there is that aspect. There is no one amongst her aunts and uncles that served, nor did either me or my husband. But that service is something that attracted her.

While she always knew that she was going to go to college, she didn't get serious about it until the end of her junior year in high school. We, like you, were prepared to support whatever decision she made and made it clear that it was her decision. She was actually applying for the Naval ROTC scholarship and the APPLY HERE button had her completing the pre-application for USNA and that wasn't until the beginning of the summer after her junior year. So you can imagine even her surprise when she got her nominations, her BGO approval and then the appointment. Her question at that point was HOW? She had good grades, but others had better. Her test scores were above average, but others had better. She didn't have all the AP courses that others had. She was a high school varsity athlete in several sports, but wasn't good enough to play at the D1 collegiate level. She held leadership positions and volunteered, but then so did everyone else. We had her ask her BGO and those that wrote her letters of recommendation what in her character stood out to them such that she would succeed at USNA.

My suggestion to you is to first have your soon reflect on why he completed the application and how he thinks being an officer in the US Navy (or USMC) can help him meet his long term goals and how he can better the Department. Then have your son engage in a conversation with his BGO and his references -- they obviously can see something in him puts the USNA in a position to help him achieve his potential.

Engaging in all that helped my daughter to realize that for her USNA is the best thing that could have happened to her, but also realize that it is also not for everyone.
Thank you for your response. I think he will benefit immensely by following your advice.
 
I recommend going back to basics, plus following some of the great advice above, allowing for individual experiences and perceptions to differ.

Your DS should re-read every page, link, drop down menu item at USNA.edu on mission, culture, available career paths, service obligation, academic matrix, daily activity schedule, athletic requirements, summer schedule, everything and anything to help him understand what he is raising his right hand for on I-Day, etc.

USNA is a 4-year pre-comm way station, an important goal, but an interim one. He will be spending at least five years doing obligated service in uniform as an officer. He should research the officer career paths available and be comfortable that a few of those seem interesting and appealing right now. If he goes to USNA, he’ll learn a lot more about those paths, but he should have a small inkling now. The Navy does much of its work in the water, below the water, above the water, around the water, often for months at a time far from home, family and land. It is not everyone’s cup of tea. Marine Corps is the other path, and it should be researched as well.

This has got to be what he wants, feels called to and gets excited about.

The good thing is that he can walk away before starting class as a junior, with no commitment. People this age do mature and grow, and minds do change. The system is built to absorb this attrition.

Good luck!
 
Last edited:
“Be careful what you wish for, lest it come true” is a proverb that I think you may be familiar. First though, congratulations to your son and to the parents on the pending appointment.

My input is from the perspective of a previous part time educator in my school district. I have witnessed firsthand the importance immigrant Asian and Southwest Asian immigrant families place on education and profession at an early age and beyond. The prestige of a “name” school is closely tied to the family pride and aspirations. If your son is a first generation American of Asian ancestry, his decisions may be somewhat harder because of familial pressures for him to succeed and where it is often the child’s job to obey. Parental bias may be very apparent in advising what college the child should choose. If if your son should accept the appointment only because of a parent’s desire, it will be easier for him in the long run to quit because none of the reasons to stay and graduate from USNA will have been of his own volition and motivation.

So, what to do ….? I think your initial advise to your son of not choosing based on full scholarship or Dad’s wants was good. I’d recommend that your son revisit his reasons and motivation for having applied to USNA in the first place. Have him write those reasons down. Do they still honestly align with the writing statements that he summited to USNA and his nomination sources? If they true and still hold, that is good. If they diverge, it may be time to re-evaluate. If possible, contacting a USNA parent’s club in your area is a good idea. They can put your son in touch with some midshipmen. This Duo and Zoom stuff are perfect for that. He should speak with a plebe and first classman so he can get a broader sense of the challenges and span of the journey. When all the college offers come in, lay them out on the table and play them off against each other. With your support, the decision should ultimately be his to make. It won’t be easy.

Good luck to you and the family.
 
If money is the issue he should consider other options. With a 1500+ on his SAT a lot of schools would give him significant tuition reduction. Alabama has an aggressive program for high achievers, as do many other schools. He would automatically qualify for almost 30K a year with no service requirement. https://scholarships.ua.edu/freshman/out-of-state/. If he wants to serve, Annapolis is a great town and the Naval Academy is as prestigious as it comes.
 
@nxioususer. I am on board with @Givvit90 advice. The decision may be his but he is making a decision with less informed understanding of this world. Although dad's motivation maybe finance and prestige of the Naval Academy institution, he is right about what the brand represents. And in your son's and in your heart, you may both agree.

Life will have many choices, some come earlier with better opportunities. Some come again, and some never. This one will never come again if you decline. But you can experiment for 1 or 2 years, preferably at least 2. If still not for him, then he can easily walk away and go the other way and not turn back. Naval Academy first 2 years can serve him well, even if he walks away and not commission. There will be many moments when he will want to quit. But if he tough it out, then that in itself is a major accomplishment overcoming his personal fear, social complexity, academic challenges, and career choices. At a bear minimum, your son will be a changed man, in many ways a better man. My understanding is that your family does not have a full scope of what your son has achieved and has on his plate. I say give it a go and let him decide within 2 years. Your family must be very proud of him. Enjoy and celebrate!
 
Last edited:
Back
Top