Appointment acccepted then turned down

Discussion in 'Naval Academy - USNA' started by Em_FLA, Jun 14, 2019.

  1. Em_FLA

    Em_FLA New Member

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    The information in this thread is eye-opening for me. So my takeaway is there really isn’t anything I could’ve done differently (other than having DS notify USNA directly instead of through BGO).

    I’m happy that we were able to get a respectable university to take him last minute (and his scholarships to still be available). We’re awaiting a letter from USNA to see if he can reapply next year. He’s still committed to serving his country and hasn’t been shaken by this experience. I’m impressed by this kid.

    Thanks for all the feedback. As awful as this has been, I find some comfort in knowing we aren’t the only ones who have faced this situation.

    Side note: Anybody have contacts at Lockheed Martin? DS looking for a part time job now.
     
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  2. justdoit19

    justdoit19 Member

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    I hope things are looking more positive for you all. I have been thinking about your situation! Any I treat in sharing : did you call admissions? Is it a “done deal” DQ with your son, or is there a chance of a waiver?

    Ive been thinking of you!
     
  3. THParent

    THParent Member

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    I have been following this thread, to see if there was any way that the planets aligned, and USNA said "Sure, go a head and report for I-Day"
     
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  4. justdoit19

    justdoit19 Member

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    Same. I’m doing my part....everything is crossed!!
     
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  5. Em_FLA

    Em_FLA New Member

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    Spoke with the director of admissions. He’s disqualified for 24 months and can reapply after that time (he’ll have finished his bachelor’s by then due to accumulated college credits in high school). Again, nobody ever called us. Though he did get an official disqualification letter in the mail, the same day he received a plaque from his congresswoman for being appointed.

    He had a similar medical episode 2 years ago which consisted of a brief trip to the ER, they did an xray said likely an obstruction but his pain was already gone. They sent him home.

    So this was included in his discharge report along with a similar episode from 4 years ago (again nonsurgical). We never really thought much about this as we were always told it’s common when a person has had an appendectomy and they never resulted in surgery. Guess he would’ve been better off staying home and not going to the hospital. ‍♀️

    So yeah, no happy ending here. I keep trying to make myself feel better because now he won’t be serving in the military (risking his life), but truth is that’s what he wanted to do. I try to make myself feel better because now I don’t have to say goodbye, but truth is, I wanted that for him.

    In the end I’m full of regrets and wish this idea of USNA had never been planted in his head. Oh, and can someone please tell the powers that be to stop emailing me? I don’t need the email about plebe summer or all the other stuff that’s going out. It’s salt on a wound.

    What a mess.
     
  6. usna1985

    usna1985 10-Year Member

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    First, great that you called and understand the options. Realize that the news isn't what you'd hoped for -- or that we'd hoped you'd get -- but at least you have an answer.

    If USNA is still your DS's dream two years from now, your DS should consider reapplying. While he may have "finished" his degree in terms of credits, he'll only be two years out of h.s. I've worked with folks who attended USNA with 2 full years of college and they did great. They were able to validate a lot, major in other things, start working on their masters, etc. Keep in mind that 1/3 of each class has at least a year of post-h.s. education and some have 2, 3 or even 4 years. No need to make a decision now, but it is an option.

    Also, please don't beat yourself up over going to the ER. You always should do what's best medically and, if your DS was kept in the hospital for 2 days/nights, his condition almost certainly warranted a visit. You'd clearly feel a lot worse if you'd kept him home and something bad had happened.

    Those who are religious would say that when God closes a door, He opens a window. I hope that the path your DS pursues is a wide open window and that, if he still wants to walk through that door, it re-opens for him 24 months from now.
     
  7. justdoit19

    justdoit19 Member

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    I also get a sense of a lot of anger towards USNA. Not sure how I would feel in your shoes, but I do hope with time that softens. I personally don’t see anything ‘wrong’ with how things were handled. Especially given the history DS has that was added in your recent post. It’s an unfortunate, but necessary situation.

    In the spirit of usna1985’s post, these two years, or maybe 6 years, in the grand scheme of ones whole life, this hiccup won’t matter a bit. A blip on his radar of life. So He will leapfrog peers by more that 2, 6 years with a USNA degree should he choose that route. The big picture is so much more than this one experience.

    DS is a youngster, home on leave. He told me of a classmate that attended her peers college graduations while she was home on leave. She ‘started over’ at the last year she could (is that 3 years, plus one NAPS? Not sure). She is highly admired and respected. Has all that experience to add to her class.

    DS’s NASS detailer was also as old as he could be, which had a big effect on DS choosing USNA (because his detailer tried time after time after time to get in, it must be worth it !).

    So it’s not as uncommon to have to wait a minute, for whatever the reason. I know this is painful, but it’s not uncommon. Often life just doesn’t go the way we plan. And it’s not anyone’s fault. It just is.

    We are a faith family, and would look at this as happening for a reason. Not necessarily to be understood. But that’s faith. And this isn’t a NO. It’s a NOT YET.
     
  8. SCubb

    SCubb Member

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    Is there a lesson here for the rest of us regarding what, and how to report, incidences between offer of appt and I day? Was this substantial enough to REQUIRE reporting? I don’t know the exact language on what to report, but is it very specific? It might become more obvious to me as we progress, but how do you communicate to DoDMERB during initial medical exams? I know enough to tell DS not to self diagnose - but any advice beyond that?
     
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  9. THParent

    THParent Member

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    So this has happened three times in 4 years?
     
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  10. TexasAggie204

    TexasAggie204 Member

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    Yeah, this is a completely different story than was first posted...
     
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  11. justdoit19

    justdoit19 Member

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    It’s all in the instructions. Not ‘self-diagnosing’ is an important step. Another is that a parent should review their minors form. They don’t have the experience, imo, to complete this one on their own. And it’s too important to not have a parent review before submission.

    Further communication is done however it’s requested. There will be instructions/guidelines.
     
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  12. usna1985

    usna1985 10-Year Member

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    There's a reason that we "veterans" of this process say that medical issues are very individualistic and no one on these boards is in any position to make judgments about someone else's medical issues. First, we don't have the entire picture (meaning the candidate's full medical record). Second, even if we did, we don't have the judgment/knowledge to know whether certain events could be related (or considered related) or whether they are serious, etc.

    For example, it is possible that, with the OP's DS, the most recent admission to the ER caused DODMERB/USNA to consider the condition chronic b/c the records from this visit laid out the prior incidents. Let me be clear . . . I am NOT saying this is what happened b/c (as noted above), I lack the knowledge to make such a determination. But it may be that, until this recent incident, USNA was okay with the medical situation and now they're not.

    As for whether to report, I believe DODMERB is pretty clear about what needs to be reported -- I would assume that a 2-night hospital admission would definitely qualify, which is what the OP correctly did. Had the situation not been reported, the DS might have had this condition recur while at USNA. Two bad things could have happened. First, USNA learns of the prior admission that wasn't reported. Second, USNA disenrolls the mid for a medical condition. Now, instead of being able to regroup in mid-June, it's in the middle of the Ac Year.

    For others who might be in a similar situation in the future . . . do what the OP did. Get medical help for your child. If the situation meets the reporting criteria, report it.
     
  13. Korab

    Korab Member

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    any bets on whether the first two events were reported on the dodmerb paperwork?
     
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  14. Overwhelmed

    Overwhelmed Member

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    After going through this process with DS, I often wonder why DoDmerb dosen't randomly "audit" medical records of completely healthy candidates.
    I am not referring to this situation but it seems to me that less competitive liars with medical issues regularly assume the appointments of truthful candidates with medical issues.
     
  15. Old Navy BGO

    Old Navy BGO 5-Year Member

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    As Paul Harvey says...The Rest of the Story comes out. Three incidents in 4 years ? If past incidents had been reported, it is likely that the Candidate would have had a DQ long ago....

    I get that Parents want to see their kids pursue their dreams, but if you look at the application process objectively, you will recognize that it is not about the individual candidate. This is not simply applying for, and attending college. USNA Admissions' goal is to select future Naval Officers, before we (as taxpayers) invest a lot of money in their training, both at USNA and in follow up training.

    Physically qualified to serve is an important part of this selection process. There are many great kids, including OP son, who have an outstanding resume, but are left with a TWE because of some medical condition, which is often perceived as minor or trivial, and may be minor or trivial in the civilian world, but can impact the Navy. (Example, ADM Halsey missed the Battle of Midway due to psoriasis, do you wonder why the Navy is concerned about skin conditions ? Something that is easily treatable at home can be a major problem (and put others at risk) in some of the places the Navy operates.

    This one is not on USNA or the Admissions process. Oh, I'm sure that USNA could have been more forthcoming, detailed or engaging in their communication, but the outcome was inevitable now that we heard the rest of the story.
     
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  16. justdoit19

    justdoit19 Member

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    Completely agree. Parents and candidates have an EMOTIONAL attachment to the process. USNA does not. Nor should it, IMO.

    At a service academy forum DS attended, it was stated that only 30pct of the population is medically qualified to serve. That blew me away actually.
     
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  17. usna1985

    usna1985 10-Year Member

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    To be fair to the OP, no one here knows what was or wasn't included in the DODMERB questionnaire or whether, based on the OP's DS's situation and the way the questions are phrased, anything should have been.

    That said, the point OldNavyBGO makes is (as usual) an excellent one. There are terrific young men and women who live normal, active lives but who have some underlying medical condition that makes them unsuitable for service in the USN/USMC. Some of these folks could qualify as Olympic athletes but don't qualify for the military. It's not their "fault." It's not the "fault" of the military for not accepting them. The fact is that the military is NOT an equal opportunity employer when it comes to medical conditions; it can't be.

    Had a friend's kid who desperately wanted to serve. Was traveling on a plane and threw a clot. One time at age 19 -- never had anything like it happen before or since. That was it -- permanently DQ. Had another friend who wanted to be a pilot (this was in the days before LASIK and PRK). Went to flight school. Got through quite a bit and then his eyes suddenly went bad. He could no longer be a pilot.

    Most of the time, the issue arises much earlier in the process. But it can come late. It is sad. It is unfortunate. It's also reality.
     
  18. TexasAggie204

    TexasAggie204 Member

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    Unfortunately that is symptomatic of a larger issue in our society. We had heard roughly the same number and it was further specified that number was largely due to weight, allergies (which seem to be on the rise), disqualifying sports related injuries (concussions were called out), and childhood behavioral/emotional/mental issues that may make an individual not suited for military service.

    Simple solution: live a healthy life style and get off the meds!
     
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  19. justdoit19

    justdoit19 Member

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    Also seeking lifestyle changes, versus drugs, to deal with many issues....as noted above. At least initially. NOT saying drug intervention isn't necessarily needed, but am saying that as a society in general, we are seemingly looking for a 'quick fix' pill to pop. Or parents are for their kids. Or both. That's my personal opinion/observation being the parent of a whole bunch of kids!
     
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  20. OldRetSWO

    OldRetSWO USNA 78/parent 11/BGO for >25yrs 5-Year Member

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    How exactly would you do that? Send out an info request to every medical provider? My USNA Grad son was born in Western Massachusetts and we lived there for a few years, then we moved to New Hampshire where we lived through his elementary school years and then to NJ from where he completed high school and entered USNA. How exactly would DODMERB audit his medical background. During his childhood, we had a number of doctors and probably 5 different insurance companies.
     
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