Dad Joke thread (everybody welcome)

OldRetSWO

USNA 78/parent 11/BGO for >25yrs
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A man walks into an apiary and asks for a dozen bees.
The beekeeper nods and carefully counts out 13 bees. The man realises this and points it out, “That’s one too many.”
“No worries,” the beekeeper says. “It’s a freebie.”
———-
A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain. “Please doctor you’ve got to help me. I’ve been stung by a bee.”
“Don’t worry;” says the doctor. “I’ll put some cream on it.”
“You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now.”
“No, you don’t understand,” says the doctor. “I’ll put some cream on the place you were stung.”
“Oh! It happened in the garden in back of my house.”
“No, no, no!” says the doctor getting frustrated. “I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting you?”
“On my finger!” screamed the man in pain. “The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts.”
“Which one?” the doctor says.
“How am I supposed to know? All bees look the same to me!”
 

Allectus

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Why do geese fly in V formation?

All the other letters are too hard to make.

(side note: my DW was a high school English teacher and was doing a lesson on impromptu speaking. She prepared note cards with topics given to students at random. One poor student got the geese question. The student hesitated and said, "I don't know, I guess all the other letters are too hard to make. Student got an A)
 

THParent

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Just to append to that joke, you ask ;


"You know how geese fly in a "V" formation"?


(rube says "yeah")

"So then, have you ever wondered why one side of the V is longer than the other side"?

(rube says, "yeah! why?")

"Because there are more geese on that side, you moron."
 

flieger83

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Dental is evil.
True story.

I arrived at USAFA, the son of a USAF flight surgeon and a trauma nurse. Medical/dental care was almost religious in our house.

During my in-processing physical...no cavities, no fillings, nothing dental to mention.

Within 12 months...I had 8 fillings..." your molars are deeply crevassed...eventually you'll have issues; we'll just take care of this now."

Any guesses why we called the USAFA Cadet Dental Clinic the "Dental Hobby Shop?"
 

justme

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Nov 7, 2019
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True story.

I arrived at USAFA, the son of a USAF flight surgeon and a trauma nurse. Medical/dental care was almost religious in our house.

During my in-processing physical...no cavities, no fillings, nothing dental to mention.

Within 12 months...I had 8 fillings..." your molars are deeply crevassed...eventually you'll have issues; we'll just take care of this now."

Any guesses why we called the USAFA Cadet Dental Clinic the "Dental Hobby Shop?"
Before coming home from ww2, my grandfather went ahead and had his teeth pulled by the army to save money 20 years later...
 

NJROTC-CC

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Before coming home from ww2, my grandfather went ahead and had his teeth pulled by the army to save money 20 years later...
My Dad’s WWII dental story - - and this is no joke - - was that when he arrived at Great Lakes, they were processing so many men through (over one million trained there during WWII) that they had no time and not enough dentists for any fancy dental work, including fillings. So, if you had any bad teeth, they just pulled them. Well those young men had all grown up during the depression and many had never seen a dentist in their lives. Dad said there were guys from Appalachia who ended up with very few teeth left.
 
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