Dad Joke thread (everybody welcome)

Sprout is about to turn 11 (how the heck did THAT happen) and he and DH spend their days making cardboard armor and telling each other dad jokes. This morning: "How does the moon cut his hair? E clips it, of course!" and "DAD! Did you hear about the math teacher who was afraid of negative numbers? She will stop at nothing to avoid them!"

:rolleyes:

(Sprout loves it when it takes his dad a few beats to "get it"...)
 
After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”

“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.

“I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”
 
Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are camping on a case they are investigating. After putting up the tent, having a good dinner, and drinking a bottle of wine, they go to sleep.

In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see,” Holmes says, shivering.

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Somewhere in the universe, with so many billions of stars similar to the sun, there is a high probability that some of these stars have Earth-like planets. And assuming the Earth is typical, some may have developed intelligent life. It means that humanity, may not be alone in this vast cosmos. What did you deduce Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment before he replies.

“Quite,” he says. “Though my more immediate concern is the fact that, clearly, someone has stolen our tent.”
 
Dad poem:

Twas in a restaurant where they met
Romeo and Juliet
He had no cash to pay the debt
So Romeo’d what Juli-et.
 
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