I dont know if ROTC is for me

Jboog12345

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Jan 26, 2021
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I’m a senior in college and contracted as an Ms3 in army rotc. I was able to get a two year scholarship because even though I am senior I had about two years of courses left. This was because it took me a while to decide on my major which is finance. I feel like ROTC isn’t for me because it seems like no matter what I do in the program I do it badly. This is the first time I ever felt this way in any program. I try to the my best ability but I can’t seem to find the motivation to do army related studies, and I’m just overall demotivated. I have made the deans list twice at my school and consider myself relatively put together and successful but I cannot seem to keep the consistency, work ethic and success that would allow me the same in ROTC. I feel like I am running in place. The whole thing is surreal to me because I never had instances where I looked this bad and had such a negative self image of myself but it has inevitably manifested itself due to my many failures in rotc. I was the only ms3 who did not pass land navigation during a exercise and my running went from a 16 minute to a 20 minute.

I’ve been going to PT 3 times a week and it seems I’ve fell out of shape and been more out of shape then I ever was before joining army/going to PT. The whole thing is just weird. It makes me believe that ROTC is just not for me. Nothing quite seems to go right no matter how hard I try and I can’t seem to keep up the momentum of getting stuff done and getting it done right. I joined the army because I believe I had what it takes to be a leader. I have often led my whole life. I led an accounting team to good grades during accounting I but creating and amassing a team. I’ve done many projects and initiatives where I was the leader and things went well.

I come from an impoverished family, am a fist generation college student and I used to be in special needs, I was told that I should never major in any math or do anything mathematical but I’ve overcome that by majoring in finance and doing well in it by hard work ethic. I joined Rotc because I always wanted to serve my country. I was denied being enlisted when I graduated high school because of medical issues and was disqualified for a long time but I’ve made it to ROTC by not giving up and I can’t seem to maintain my commitment. I’m convinced it is not for me, I’ve been trying my hardest since September and here I am in almost February feeling like I’ve made no progress and did not become a better person like I wanted to be but a more lazy and demotivated person. My life is filled with rotc and sometimes when I dream all I can see it camouflage uniforms and, people yelling my last name, and and acronyms that I haven’t figured out yet. None of it in a good way. I’ve been bottling in these feelings for a long while and I need some opinions and thoughts. It makes me sad because I know my professor of military science really wants to me succeed and sometimes I see the disappoint and concern on his face when he views. I know he doesn’t mean any harm but it is demoralizing. Thanks.
 
I would really recommend going and talking to your PMS/advisor about this. They can provide more personal advice than anyone else, and they'll be best suited to help you make a plan to succeed if you do stay in the program. It can be intimidating to approach your staff about stuff like this, but I promise they're there to help.

No matter what you end up deciding on, I wish you the best!
 
Would highly echo what is said up there^

I’m not sure if you have access to a therapist or any Professional mental health services also, but reaching out to someone professional to bounce off some thoughts might also be a great idea.
 
I’m a senior in college and contracted as an Ms3 in army rotc. I was able to get a two year scholarship because even though I am senior I had about two years of courses left. This was because it took me a while to decide on my major which is finance. I feel like ROTC isn’t for me because it seems like no matter what I do in the program I do it badly. This is the first time I ever felt this way in any program. I try to the my best ability but I can’t seem to find the motivation to do army related studies, and I’m just overall demotivated. I have made the deans list twice at my school and consider myself relatively put together and successful but I cannot seem to keep the consistency, work ethic and success that would allow me the same in ROTC. I feel like I am running in place. The whole thing is surreal to me because I never had instances where I looked this bad and had such a negative self image of myself but it has inevitably manifested itself due to my many failures in rotc. I was the only ms3 who did not pass land navigation during a exercise and my running went from a 16 minute to a 20 minute.

I’ve been going to PT 3 times a week and it seems I’ve fell out of shape and been more out of shape then I ever was before joining army/going to PT. The whole thing is just weird. It makes me believe that ROTC is just not for me. Nothing quite seems to go right no matter how hard I try and I can’t seem to keep up the momentum of getting stuff done and getting it done right. I joined the army because I believe I had what it takes to be a leader. I have often led my whole life. I led an accounting team to good grades during accounting I but creating and amassing a team. I’ve done many projects and initiatives where I was the leader and things went well.

I come from an impoverished family, am a fist generation college student and I used to be in special needs, I was told that I should never major in any math or do anything mathematical but I’ve overcome that by majoring in finance and doing well in it by hard work ethic. I joined Rotc because I always wanted to serve my country. I was denied being enlisted when I graduated high school because of medical issues and was disqualified for a long time but I’ve made it to ROTC by not giving up and I can’t seem to maintain my commitment. I’m convinced it is not for me, I’ve been trying my hardest since September and here I am in almost February feeling like I’ve made no progress and did not become a better person like I wanted to be but a more lazy and demotivated person. My life is filled with rotc and sometimes when I dream all I can see it camouflage uniforms and, people yelling my last name, and and acronyms that I haven’t figured out yet. None of it in a good way. I’ve been bottling in these feelings for a long while and I need some opinions and thoughts. It makes me sad because I know my professor of military science really wants to me succeed and sometimes I see the disappoint and concern on his face when he views. I know he doesn’t mean any harm but it is demoralizing. Thanks.
@Jboog12345 - I recommend that you speak to your PMS or Recruiting Officer. Your PMS will give you the feedback to help you with your decision. With that in mind, you should go in to that meeting with the mindset that your PMS saw promising qualities in you when you were offered a scholarship. The fact that you overcame your disabilities also speaks to the fact that in the past you showed you were capable and willing to put in the time to overcome obstacles.

At this time in your life, you have to decide that you are willing to commit to your improving your fitness and land navigation skills. Those are two skills that can be improved. However, they will require that you commit more time to practice. If your Cadre hears from you and sees from you that you are willing to put in extra time to improve your skills, they will work with you to make sure you are ready and prepared for FTX's and Summer Training. The choice is yours.
 
You can't possibly be all thumbs or you wouldn't have gotten the scholarship. Sounds more to me like you're not measuring up to your own high standards. Get back up and get on that horse. You will always have some failures in life, Army or elsewhere. It's how you deal with failure AND success that shows if you have the character to truly be a leader (in any walk of life).
 
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Thank you guys. I feel a lot more encouraged. I did well on my ACFT the other day. I’ve been constantly pulling myself out the dark hole, starting again and trying hard but it sometimes seem like I keep failing which is why I came to this post. I felt like I did not know what to do next after exhausting my efforts. Nevertheless I will continue to push forward. Thank every single one of you for your replies. I will use them as I see fit and return to them for remembering and improving.
 
There has to be a few other MS3's or even an MS4 that can help "take you under their wing." My DS's buddies were the factor that helped my DS get through the most challenging training periods, both as a cadet and even now as an Armor officer in the Middle East.

The mutual support of your peers will best help you get through the most difficult days.

Hang tough!
 
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