2011 Mom,
Unfortunately because we were talking in generics, I was trying to explain that IMHO it is wrong if you use the back channels. For example, in VA, MD, or NC if you wait until the end of BCT, to drop that State U, you really have taken a spot since the State schools start within 2 weeks from that date. They all start in August, which means kids that were wait listed already paid their deposits to another college and if they decided to swallow the deposit for their safety to get into their wait listed at last minute, then the safety will take the hit and so on and so forth. In your area they start 6-7 weeks later, that is a huge difference. Even in NJ they start orientation 3 weeks after BCT ends, hard to backfill with a wait list unless they are the states safety of safeties, which I doubt SA applicants are typically applying to.
I do not have issues with people who wait, it is their right. I do not know what State U that your child applied to. Let me give an example, your child gets accepted UNCCH, holds that spot until Aug is totally different than your child getting accepted to UNC Wilmington. Number 2 in the nation for public university compared to non-ranked, where anyone can go into the registrars office and sign up for 12 credits. PSU and SUNY also have satellites. In VA and MD, neither have satellite state campuses like UNC, either you are in at UMDCP or UVA or you are not, there is no secondary campus you can start at and transfer to the "big league" from within the system. It depends on the university and the state.
In the end this topic goes back to the problem of responses being generic regarding "Plan B". Some state U's are highly competitive, almost Ivy, or at least in the top 20 for USNWR, some are the safeties of safeties. It all depends on your state and how that state U is ranked. To say to someone to hold the spot until after BCT for UVA when they start before Sept 1 is a different story than to someone who is applying to Christopher Newport University, a state U in VA.
I am not trying to rile or cause a fight. I am expressing my opinion, that to me sooner or later you must call the ball, and that your decision has an impact on someone else's life. You and everyone else must do what is right for your child. As parents, as selfish as this may sound, our job is to protect them and make sure their dream comes true, our allegiance is to them and nobody else. Neither of us are right, neither of us are wrong, it is all about where we decide the line is drawn, and only we can decide where to draw it and when. Nobody should feel that they are unethical if they have full support from their Plan B University...GUILT for the impact on a child that is a stranger is a different story.