Quitting USMMA

Dadx4

5-Year Member
Joined
Sep 11, 2015
Messages
707
My DD has decided to leave USMMA after completing her first year. I've tried everything I can to convince her to stay. Any advice from other parents who have gone through this? Heartbreaking. Thanks.
 

AROTC-dad

Moderator
5-Year Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2014
Messages
5,808
It would help us to help you, if we knew why she wants to quit. (Back in may she was happy there, according to your past post).
 

vortexkp99

Member
Joined
Apr 2, 2017
Messages
37
Make sure they get all records from Dept of Naval Science, Patten Health Clinic, and the Commandant's office.

Why? I know of former fellow classmates who left and later rejoined the military...

The naval records came up later during background checks...also, make sure they actually receive some sort of release or discharge from the navy.

For medical, the DODMERB physical is in the record and could be used later...also so should they ever go into the military later, it can serve as a baseline for any future VA claims.
 

Dadx4

5-Year Member
Joined
Sep 11, 2015
Messages
707
Make sure they get all records from Dept of Naval Science, Patten Health Clinic, and the Commandant's office.

Why? I know of former fellow classmates who left and later rejoined the military...

The naval records came up later during background checks...also, make sure they actually receive some sort of release or discharge from the navy.

For medical, the DODMERB physical is in the record and could be used later...also so should they ever go into the military later, it can serve as a baseline for any future VA claims.
Thanks vortex
 

Capt MJ

Ancient Mariner
10-Year Member
Joined
Sep 27, 2008
Messages
9,303
B Split. She's afraid of going to sea.

Sorry to hear that. It's not for everyone, whether merchant or Navy. Hard on you as parents, but it happens to some number of mids and cadets across all SAs, that "oh no, this is not AT ALL what I thought it would be." Just love them and calmly ask what their plan is.

Not for us to pry into the source of her concern, but I hope she can muster the courage to figure out exactly what it is that is stopping her, and if she can't overcome it this time, be prepared to push herself next time when faced with a life challenge.

A quote from someone I was fortunate to have a seminar class with in college, and with whom I talked about my decision to go into the Navy, and my fears:

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a *itch. You’ve got to go out and kick a**."
- Dr. Maya Angelou

(I edited for SAF.)
 

kp2001

10-Year Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
2,313
I strongly encourage everyone who is thinking of quitting to at least make it beyond first sea term. It is such a different experience that it may not be at all what they are expecting. If they want to quit after then they at least have experienced pretty much everything KP has to offer and haven't closed doors before they actually open.

Obviously some have very good reasons for leaving prior, but if they made it this far I really encourage them to stay for at least the first sea year.
 

BTCS/USN

Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2016
Messages
277
Going to sea is one of the best experiences in my memory bank. Never imagined the amount of stars until seen at night at sea with no lights to overwhelm the view, gentle rocking is the best way to fall asleep, nice breeze, glowing wake and utter quiet while winding down with some coffee and friends on the fantail after work and some of the greatest sunset views known to man. Something Carnival Cruise Lines can't duplicate due to the ships configuration. Definitely a must do before bailing. May change the whole perspective.
 
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KPEngineer

Eternal Father ...
10-Year Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2009
Messages
1,249
I strongly encourage everyone who is thinking of quitting to at least make it beyond first sea term. It is such a different experience that it may not be at all what they are expecting. If they want to quit after then they at least have experienced pretty much everything KP has to offer and haven't closed doors before they actually open.

Obviously some have very good reasons for leaving prior, but if they made it this far I really encourage them to stay for at least the first sea year.

Agree 100%.

If nothing else, having made a transoceanic crossing is an experience few can duplicate. There aren't that many exotic places left any more, but even just being able to tell your friends you've been to Dutch Harbor AK is pretty cool.
 

kp2001

10-Year Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
2,313
Thank you all. We had a long, thoughtful discussion last night, and she is staying. DD is strong.

I definitely wouldn't consider her weak for deciding to leave, if she decides to in the future. Some just realize the school and maritime career are not for them, and that's ok! Not a sign of failure or anything else. I'm glad to hear she has decided to at least give sea year a go, I hope she finds it rewarding!
 

Humey

Member
Joined
Jun 21, 2016
Messages
1,510
Thank you all. We had a long, thoughtful discussion last night, and she is staying. DD is strong.

I definitely wouldn't consider her weak for deciding to leave, if she decides to in the future. Some just realize the school and maritime career are not for them, and that's ok! Not a sign of failure or anything else. I'm glad to hear she has decided to at least give sea year a go, I hope she finds it rewarding!
Exactly. Especially if she goes to see and doenst like it. It one thing to quit because you are afraid but it is another thing when you go through it and realize you dont like it. I have to imagine the same goes for the guys/gals who want to be AF and Navy pilots. Since my son has a private pilot license he has flown and likesit. I am sure there are pilot candidates who have never personally flown and then realize they dont like it when they go to pilot school
 

usna1985

10-Year Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
6,280
Not USMMA so take my comments with a grain of salt . . . Deployments, especially for a year, can seem overwhelming to someone who's only lived a few years of "adult" life. However, I think almost anyone who has been at sea/on deployment remembers it as some of the best times of their life. I know I do. The friendships last a lifetime. You see things and do things that most of the world will never see or do. It's tough to be away, but you're with some great people who are all going through the same thing together. Hopefully, she will see the positive sides of being at sea as there are many.
 

kelith

5-Year Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2009
Messages
21
A few years ago during his second year my son asked me what i would think if he were to leave. I told him it was his life, that he had earned the right to make his decision and I would support whatever he decided. Then I held my breath until he returned to school for his third year. He went on to graduate and sails. He is currently on vacation in Africa. Have faith and they will make the decision that is right for them.
 

cmakin

10-Year Member
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
991
I came close to quitting after my second Sea Year. Considered staying at sea as an unlicensed QMED, or whatever rating I could garner with my sea time as a cadet. During my Sea Year, I sailed with an engineer who had done just that. . . but it has always been difficult for me to quit something, so I went back and finished. Glad I did, too.
 
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