Roller coaster I: Get You (The Parents) Through Plebe Year - Class of ‘27 🎢

Sealion II said:
And I've heard various comment on this second slate of detainers (extending Freud comment). Are they harder, easier, different, varied, no one konws?
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my daughter felt the 2nd set were easier, nicer - but every company is different and the plebes are in a groove. I do remember her letter saying they we're all very scared of the new detailers coming and mine loved her squad leader for first set so she was sad she was leaving.
 
Alchemist said:
I've read the first set of detailer's mission is to breakdown the plebes, while, the second group's mission is to build them up and prepare them for reform. Sounds like basic training: breakdown followed by building them up the way you want them to be.
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They came in full of energy and made an impression. It took a good week or two to understand their personalities. Each company is different and each detailer is different. Only time will tell.
 
There is always anxiety about second set. They have gotten used to first set and their expectations. Every detailer is different, so is not harder or easier necessarily, it’s learning a new leadership style, expectations and continuing to perform. Second set, the Plebes are different. They are no longer brand new Plebes either. The bar is raised in terms of expectations and performance. Second set is there to continue to train them and prepare them to join the Brigade. The anxiety is more around the unknown and whatever first set has told them about second set. It’s a mind game.
 
2nd Set is historically a bit more relaxed, but that doesn't mean you won't get punished for messing up. 2nd Set Detailers will usually come in with some fire, but it will most likely last a week or so. The biggest change for me when I was a Plebe was learning new personalities and expectations. Different Platoon/Company Commanders will sometimes emphasize different things or have different outlooks. Keep in mind that the 2nd Set Detailers are learning to be Detailers as well. It will take some time for them to figure out how they want to project themselves and settle into their roles.
 
Sealion II said:
Roller coaster is such an appropriate title for what we are experiencing.

The letters we've been receiving have been a complete up and down read: I can't sleep. Detailer was chill today. Did I make a mistake? I want to reenact the Great Escape. What if I hate my (future) job? Today was a good day. I want this to be over. I got to play my sport today, I still got it. :)

My head is spinning.
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So far I have only received 1 letter from DS! But we have sent him plenty of letters and boxes! Hopefully he is okay.
 
PS has been very hard on me and I don’t consider myself a helicopter parent , at all. I’ve never gone this long without talking /FaceTiming / seeing one of my kids and the two eldest studied abroad during college . My plebe is very frustrated with being sick . First she was dehydrated and she doesn’t have great veins , so there was a problem with the IV and then even after three bags of fluid , she still hadn’t urinated so they kept her . She gets through that and I get a letter that she had an ingrown toenail and had to have it removed and is back on light duty . She said it was an extremely painful procedure. . Her “tribe” from high school who all swore they would write her , not one letter from any of them , so even though she is a tough cookie , you could tell by the tone of the letter she sent me that she is hurt by that . Looking at pictures online and she is sitting with the injured on the benches looking absolutely miserable . I know she wants to be marching and active . Not embarrassed to say I had a good cry this morning after seeing how unhappy she looked. Can’t wait for PPW .
 
BlueHen2005 said:
Update - sometime between the phone call on Sunday afternoon, and Monday morning PEP, DD reported back to her original company. No details on what changed her mind. She has been battling bronchitis for several weeks, and she’s normally miserable when sick, Maybe that played a role. But, her mom and I did a great job expressing our disappointment in her during the phone call. We told her:
- you’re already through the hardest part
- stick through the first semester at a minimum (her back up school would require her to reapply as a transfer for winter semester anyways) and re-evaluate
- she’d have to work if she came home, preferably at either Amazon or Wal Mart for a lesson in hard knocks
- all of her friends will be at school, while she’s home working. She’ll be miserable.
- told her lots of people delay going to college for many good reasons. A large number never go because life happens. Better to get started
- she’ll have to go to local state U and live at home unless she takes out loans (this was her plan C anyways)
- her brother will call her Navy dropout for the rest of their lives
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Really happy to hear that she had a change of heart. She’s got this .
 
Banshee Mom said:
PS has been very hard on me and I don’t consider myself a helicopter parent , at all. I’ve never gone this long without talking /FaceTiming / seeing one of my kids and the two eldest studied abroad during college . My plebe is very frustrated with being sick . First she was dehydrated and she doesn’t have great veins , so there was a problem with the IV and then even after three bags of fluid , she still hadn’t urinated so they kept her . She gets through that and I get a letter that she had an ingrown toenail and had to have it removed and is back on light duty . She said it was an extremely painful procedure. . Her “tribe” from high school who all swore they would write her , not one letter from any of them , so even though she is a tough cookie , you could tell by the tone of the letter she sent me that she is hurt by that . Looking at pictures online and she is sitting with the injured on the benches looking absolutely miserable . I know she wants to be marching and active . Not embarrassed to say I had a good cry this morning after seeing how unhappy she looked. Can’t wait for PPW .
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hang in there! they are half way done. injuries happen and they get through it. she will be ok and will love seeing you PPW. maybe you can call her friends and ask them to send a note to her - I know my girl loved it when her friends and family wrote her. it does make them smile! their feet get destroyed PS - my daughters toes looked like they were all going to peel off.....just alot of chopping and on their feet for so many hours. thinking about you and I get it - a good cry is ok!!!!
 
Banshee Mom said:
PS has been very hard on me and I don’t consider myself a helicopter parent , at all. I’ve never gone this long without talking /FaceTiming / seeing one of my kids and the two eldest studied abroad during college . My plebe is very frustrated with being sick . First she was dehydrated and she doesn’t have great veins , so there was a problem with the IV and then even after three bags of fluid , she still hadn’t urinated so they kept her . She gets through that and I get a letter that she had an ingrown toenail and had to have it removed and is back on light duty . She said it was an extremely painful procedure. . Her “tribe” from high school who all swore they would write her , not one letter from any of them , so even though she is a tough cookie , you could tell by the tone of the letter she sent me that she is hurt by that . Looking at pictures online and she is sitting with the injured on the benches looking absolutely miserable . I know she wants to be marching and active . Not embarrassed to say I had a good cry this morning after seeing how unhappy she looked. Can’t wait for PPW .
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... this is the right place to receive advise from parents.
Don't know your family cultural heritage but when the Bancroft doors closed, the separation for us was a Greek Tragedy in Shakespearean proportion. The thought process was:
He is all alone.
No one is feeding him.
He has no friends.
No one is taking care of him.
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During the 3 phone calls, he had the Plebe "hack" cough, wrist infection, and hoarsed voice.
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DS went to ER outside the yard after his roommates called 911. He was stucked there for 3+ hours without seeing the doctor.
We scrambled to find a doctor from 1.5 hours away. We're about to drive to Annapolis when the doctor suddenly appeared.
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During PPW, he lost 20+ lbs, so skinny. So no one is feeding him.
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The drama in the house was so intense that his mom was prepared on several occasions to call the Superintendent. As a 30-year vet, I knew better not to call the big boss because "the stuff rolls down hill".
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Fast forward to 3/C academic year, I'm just thankful that DS is happy, healthy, and confident.
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Be tough... Hang in there.
 
Injuries during plebe summer are not uncommon. Flipping through alumni association photos a few years ago, we went a long stretch without a DD sighting. Then one day we spotted her — and she was on crutches. Stress fractures, and she looked down. A week later at PPW, all was well, physically and emotionally. They’re young and resilient. They bounce back.

(Speaking of painful feet: DD commissioned into USMC. While at The Basic School, she sent me a photo of her feet following a week-long field exercise. I almost puked. Nasty stuff. But she recovered.)
 
Anyone know when Plebes need to report back for Spring semester? [I assumed it was 7-Jan, but heard it's earlier.] Thank you.
 
Trainer said:
Anyone know when Plebes need to report back for Spring semester? [I assumed it was 7-Jan, but heard it's earlier.] Thank you.
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5 Jan by 6pm
Allow for weather and travel delays. Guidelines in their regulations say they need to plan to arrive at least 4 hours if flying.
 
Banshee Mom said:
PS has been very hard on me and I don’t consider myself a helicopter parent , at all. I’ve never gone this long without talking /FaceTiming / seeing one of my kids and the two eldest studied abroad during college . My plebe is very frustrated with being sick . First she was dehydrated and she doesn’t have great veins , so there was a problem with the IV and then even after three bags of fluid , she still hadn’t urinated so they kept her . She gets through that and I get a letter that she had an ingrown toenail and had to have it removed and is back on light duty . She said it was an extremely painful procedure. . Her “tribe” from high school who all swore they would write her , not one letter from any of them , so even though she is a tough cookie , you could tell by the tone of the letter she sent me that she is hurt by that . Looking at pictures online and she is sitting with the injured on the benches looking absolutely miserable . I know she wants to be marching and active . Not embarrassed to say I had a good cry this morning after seeing how unhappy she looked. Can’t wait for PPW .
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I know how you may be feeling but it will get better. My plebe went MIA from pictures for over a week so I knew he was probably sick. Finally snail mail showed up, he had a bad concussion and was SIQ. I think technology and pictures are great but when we stop seeing them we get alarmed. I even made a list of possibilities of what could of happened, lol. When I realized I was obsessed looking for pictures I decided to write motivational letters instead and now wait days before I look for pictures. They are just fine and they will be taken care of, there's not much we can do other than pray and motivate them.
Send me a DM if you would like for me to write to your DD, I don't mind to send her some extra notes and may help her see mail from someone else.
 
STEM 26 said:
I know how you may be feeling but it will get better. My plebe went MIA from pictures for over a week so I knew he was probably sick. Finally snail mail showed up, he had a bad concussion and was SIQ. I think technology and pictures are great but when we stop seeing them we get alarmed. I even made a list of possibilities of what could of happened, lol. When I realized I was obsessed looking for pictures I decided to write motivational letters instead and now wait days before I look for pictures. They are just fine and they will be taken care of, there's not much we can do other than pray and motivate them.
Send me a DM if you would like for me to write to your DD, I don't mind to send her some extra notes and may help her see mail from someone else.
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How very kind of you to offer to write her ! She is very fortunate to have extended family and my friends write her and send packages. I think she is hurt that her friends aren’t , but I don’t think they understand the path she is on which is so different from their college experiences . DD is a very loyal person, but behind the tough exterior , she is also very sensitive and I think she is just hurt that her friends that she has always been there for seem to have forgotten her . Talking to parents who have traveled this USNA path , I don’t think it’s very unusual to grow apart from your high school friends , but I still think it stings a bit because if things were reversed , she would have written about ten letters by now .
 
@Banshee Mom . First, I feel ya'. I will never forget my first grocery shopping after leaving DS on the curb at our local airport, headed for I Day solo (Covid, 2020).

I walked into Walmart, was doing my usual routine, got to the freezer section, and dropped a box of 'uncrustables' into the cart (ooh, gross, I know but DS loved them). I took two steps and it hit me like a truck. He wasn't home, he wouldn't be home for 168 days, and I wasn't responsible for feeding him now. I couldn't feed him now, outside of leave trips home. I started ugly crying. Had to leave the cart and go sit in the car with the AC on. Just sobbed.

He ended up with dual long bone stress fractures in both legs, crutches for 8 weeks, and visits to ortho eating up time plebes don't have. He ended up ok. He was miserable going through it, but came out of it and thrived. Is still thriving and coming home tomorrow. I am busy planning food I get to cook for him while he is home. Full circle moment here.

Your DD will be okay, and your visit with her PPW will be all the more special and needed by all of you. PM me if you need to vent. And, if you haven't yet, try to locate your local parent club and get a member of an upper class midshipmen as a mentor, and a plebe parent as a battle buddy.
 
She will
Banshee Mom said:
How very kind of you to offer to write her ! She is very fortunate to have extended family and my friends write her and send packages. I think she is hurt that her friends aren’t , but I don’t think they understand the path she is on which is so different from their college experiences . DD is a very loyal person, but behind the tough exterior , she is also very sensitive and I think she is just hurt that her friends that she has always been there for seem to have forgotten her . Talking to parents who have traveled this USNA path , I don’t think it’s very unusual to grow apart from your high school friends , but I still think it stings a bit because if things were reversed , she would have written about ten letters by now .
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She will soon make new relationships and lifetime friendships. HS friends may be busy getting ready for college and they don't realized how different it is for academy kids. I did reached out to DS friends when he first went missing and asked them to write, 2 of them did right away. I was surprised how fast they responded, they were just busy with summer jobs.
 
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