srlowery73
Member
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2018
- Messages
- 21
I have been working on the personal statement for my application for some time now. I think I have finally written something that sounds like me and that will tell the admissions what kind of person I am. Still, I would really appreciate some feedback on what I have written. Of course, I have had friends and family read it, but I feel their feedback may be somewhat biased because they are friends and family.
In a well-organized essay of 300 to 500 words, please discuss the following:
(1) Describe what led to your initial interest in the naval service and how the Naval Academy will help you achieve your long range goals, and
(2) Describe a personal experience you have had which you feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.
My interest in naval service, and in attending the United States Naval Academy, strives from wanting to make a difference. Attending the Naval Academy and subsequent naval service will allow me to make tremendous differences in myself, our country, and our world. I have always been extremely passionate about science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM). Time spent practicing STEM in the real world, like in a science lab mixing strange chemicals or with my robotics team designing crazy prototypes, are times that I find most enjoyable. This year I’ve had the opportunity to take a high school aviation course. This course allowed me to do things like fly unmanned aircraft, and maintain Cessna 152s. Word of advice, when you change the oil filter on any plane, make sure to drain ALL of the oil! This class has made me sure that I want to earn a degree in aerospace engineering. By earning this degree from the Naval Academy, I will have chances to work in fields like missile defense and experimental aircraft design. I would also like to become an astronaut. With over fifty graduates of the Naval Academy going on to become astronauts, I believe that the opportunities presented to me at the Naval Academy and during my service as an Officer will put me on track towards achieving this goal.
As I expressed earlier, I wish to make a difference for more than just myself, but also to my country and the world. I have been a scout for the majority of my life, and there is a law we learn as scouts that teaches us to be twelve things: trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. Obedient; I’ve learned on many occasions that I must follow my scoutmasters' orders, especially if I want them to follow mine. Brave; something I needed to be on those very long backpacking trips to Pictured Rocks and Isle Royale. Each point of the scout law has become a part of me, but one that taught me some of the most valuable lessons is helpful. There have been countless hours spent by my troop and I volunteering in communities, whether it be restoring a nature trail, placing flags on veterans’ graves, or perhaps building shelves for a local food pantry. No matter what it was we were helping with, I always recognized that it took a leader to get the job done, and done well. It took someone who was willing to devote their time other than to themselves, but towards the betterment of their community. This is why I wish to attend the Naval Academy and serve as an officer. I could earn my degree at many other schools, but none would set me up better for a career where I could be one of those leaders. I want to devote my time, and possibly my life, to protecting this community, this nation, and ensuring the welfare of it and those who call it home.
In a well-organized essay of 300 to 500 words, please discuss the following:
(1) Describe what led to your initial interest in the naval service and how the Naval Academy will help you achieve your long range goals, and
(2) Describe a personal experience you have had which you feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.
My interest in naval service, and in attending the United States Naval Academy, strives from wanting to make a difference. Attending the Naval Academy and subsequent naval service will allow me to make tremendous differences in myself, our country, and our world. I have always been extremely passionate about science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM). Time spent practicing STEM in the real world, like in a science lab mixing strange chemicals or with my robotics team designing crazy prototypes, are times that I find most enjoyable. This year I’ve had the opportunity to take a high school aviation course. This course allowed me to do things like fly unmanned aircraft, and maintain Cessna 152s. Word of advice, when you change the oil filter on any plane, make sure to drain ALL of the oil! This class has made me sure that I want to earn a degree in aerospace engineering. By earning this degree from the Naval Academy, I will have chances to work in fields like missile defense and experimental aircraft design. I would also like to become an astronaut. With over fifty graduates of the Naval Academy going on to become astronauts, I believe that the opportunities presented to me at the Naval Academy and during my service as an Officer will put me on track towards achieving this goal.
As I expressed earlier, I wish to make a difference for more than just myself, but also to my country and the world. I have been a scout for the majority of my life, and there is a law we learn as scouts that teaches us to be twelve things: trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. Obedient; I’ve learned on many occasions that I must follow my scoutmasters' orders, especially if I want them to follow mine. Brave; something I needed to be on those very long backpacking trips to Pictured Rocks and Isle Royale. Each point of the scout law has become a part of me, but one that taught me some of the most valuable lessons is helpful. There have been countless hours spent by my troop and I volunteering in communities, whether it be restoring a nature trail, placing flags on veterans’ graves, or perhaps building shelves for a local food pantry. No matter what it was we were helping with, I always recognized that it took a leader to get the job done, and done well. It took someone who was willing to devote their time other than to themselves, but towards the betterment of their community. This is why I wish to attend the Naval Academy and serve as an officer. I could earn my degree at many other schools, but none would set me up better for a career where I could be one of those leaders. I want to devote my time, and possibly my life, to protecting this community, this nation, and ensuring the welfare of it and those who call it home.
