Luigi, I am not disagreeing with you, I once long ago was that 19 yo girl, but I have to say my mother instilled in me never to get into those situations. She drilled in my mind, that you go together as a group of girls, and you leave as a group of girls. If you think that 1 is drunk, you collect her and leave before she can wake up the next morning with regret.
That to me is one of the problems. We blame the male counterpart when they are just as drunk as the female. We as women, don't do enough to protect each other when placed in a predicament.
I am proud of the fact that my friends when I was 18-20, legal drinking age was 21, watched out for each other, and when one of us saw another passing a line they would regret in the morning we dragged their butts out.
Bullet and I instilled in our DD the same philosophy. When you go to a party, you go as a group, when you leave the party, you leave with the same group. No deviation from that plan. DD and her friends have taken that up a notch. They use the designated driver program, and have agreed that if the DD in the group says NO, you are drunk, there is no argument, the DD has the ball and can call it. No arguments.
Our daughter gave me the highest compliment because she said that I told her one thing before she left for college that stuck with her.
"If he loves you so much tonight and wants to have sex with you, he will love you more tomorrow too...if he doesn't love you tomorrow, than he didn't love yesterday and you will not regret not having sex with him, but you will regret if you do have sex with him"
I hate when people bring up the No may have meant Yes argument, but unfortunately there is that issue. Even in this case the "incapacitated" issue will be played in from a defense POV, UNLESS she reported the assault immediately and had a tox screen done, which still may not help the prosecution. The emotional scar of rape will last, and longer if there is no conviction. Being afraid because you were drunk will only hurt you psychologically if you believe you were raped, but were afraid to report or talked out it for that one reason. There will always be that doubt, that question, that inability to trust.
Before you send any DD to any college, be smart. The fact is they know about protected sex and pregnancies from HS health. They don't know as girls that RAPE is a crime which occurs because too many victims are afraid they brought it on themselves.
Teach your girls, that traveling in packs like NUNS is a good thing. Tell them that you as a parent, will understand if they got drunk, but if this occurred when they were drunk, still immediately go to the hospital because medical examinations will be needed for conviction, plus for their own health...STDs, and unwanted pregnancy,
Don't worry about what others will think.
Pound into your DS's that the girl you are attracted to is someone's sister, and to remember how you will emotionally feel if they did it to your sister. The whole AF and officer thing is BS, it is not emotional. The this act can be your sister, your cousin or even your ex-gf is personal and something they can relate to emotionally.
In a way it is about how you send your kid off to college or the AFA.
The AFA is a great place, and the actions of some stupid cadets does not equate to it being a place that condones rape.
Long ago before many of you were here, but there was a poster who had a 5'0 100 lb DD at the AFA. If fear of rape in your mind exists, she would have been the prime female candidate to get raped. That didn't happen. Instead because the winds are so bad at the AFA, she had male cadets hold onto her as she crossed the campus...actually required! She had brothers who protected her.
IMPO, Claxton, Cressy and Evanston should be watching their backs today because I bet there are alot of male cadets ready to pummel them if given the opportunity.
Not because they sullied the AFA name, or the male cadets, but because these girls are their family and they hurt them.
Awesome post!