Dad Joke thread (everybody welcome)

[THParent]

 

[THParent]

I always like to say "mucho" when I'm around my Spanish-speaking friends.



It means a lot to them.

 

[Sciencnerd]

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? 2: One to do it, another to tell him he did it wrong and do it another way.

 

[kinnem]

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? 2: One to do it, another to tell him he did it wrong and do it another way.

Sounds more like a marriage.

 

[Old Enlisted Marine]

According to my kids dad jokes are not cool for a-parent reasons.

 

[Old Enlisted Marine]

A rabbit used to come up to my yard everyday for food, but hasn't shown up in a week. Now he is just some bunny I used to know.

 

[Serenity2517]

 

[Dad_2024]

Daddy Tomato and Kiddie Tomato are out for a walk. Kiddie Tomato keeps falling behind. Annoyed, Daddy Tomato turns around, walks back to Kiddie Tomato. He stomps his foot down hard on Kiddie Tomato and yells, “Catch up!”

Watching Pulp Fiction and was thinking this joke from the pilot of Fox Force Five deserved a spot here, but a quick search revealed it's already been posted.

 

[Dadof2]

I gave some thought to procrastinating, but I never got around to it.

 

[Jarhead713]

I have a friend addicted to brake fluid, he says he can stop at anytime

 

[Twins4us]

Watching Pulp Fiction and was thinking this joke from the pilot of Fox Force Five deserved a spot here, but a quick search revealed it's already been posted.

One of my go to jokes.

 

[Dad_2024]

...then there was the time I put a cow in an elevator because I wanted to raise the steaks...

 

[Jarhead713]

...then there was the time I put a cow in an elevator because I wanted to raise the steaks...

Hey, what do you call a cow with two legs?

 

[OtB]

Hey, what do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef

How about a cow with no legs?

 

[Dad_2024]

Lean beef

How about a cow with no legs?

Ground beef

 

[Old Enlisted Marine]

I heard Apple was building a car but they had trouble installing Windows

 

[Dad_2024]

What did the music teacher name his twin daughters?

Anna 1 Anna 2

 

[Jarhead713]

Ground beef

What about a cow with one leg?

Stake!

 

[kinnem]

What did the music teacher name his twin daughters?

Anna 1 Anna 2

Was that Lawrence Welk?

 

[Dad_2024]

There are 2 kinds of people in this world, those who can infer meaning from incomplete thoughts