Dating at the AF (prior relationship)

[Morgiepiepie]

So I have a friend at the USAFA. I am applying to go there next year. Our relationship is somewhat romantic and I expect someday we will date. That is, if we’re allowed to. I know fraternizing is not allowed normally. But he has told me he filled out paperwork saying that we had a prior relationship so I’m wondering if that means we’d be allowed to date?

 

[THParent]

* grabs popcorn and sits down in comfortable chair *

 

[another13mom]

^^ well that was kind of harsh - she's 17, so perhaps a little latitude as this forum is also able to respond to questions regarding life as a cadet. To answer the question, a prior relationship, documented as your friend is suggesting, is generally excluded as "frat". However, being a female at a service academy is tough in terms of social pressure and the rumor mill. Everyone knows your business, all of it. So be discreet and mature in terms of behavior if you choose to date. I'd also suggest making sure you want to be there if you weren't dating this guy or any other guy for a few years. If the answer is yes, then go for it. Best of luck to you in the application process.

 

[HuskyPilot]

^^ well that was kind of harsh - she's 17, so perhaps a little latitude as this forum is also able to respond to questions regarding life as a cadet. To answer the question, a prior relationship, documented as your friend is suggesting, is generally excluded as "frat". However, being a female at a service academy is tough in terms of social pressure and the rumor mill. Everyone knows your business, all of it. So be discreet and mature in terms of behavior if you choose to date. I'd also suggest making sure you want to be there if you weren't dating this guy or any other guy for a few years. If the answer is yes, then go for it. Best of luck to you in the application process.

Thank you. You may very well be right. I'm going to delete the post.

 

[Morgiepiepie]

^^ well that was kind of harsh - she's 17, so perhaps a little latitude as this forum is also able to respond to questions regarding life as a cadet. To answer the question, a prior relationship, documented as your friend is suggesting, is generally excluded as "frat". However, being a female at a service academy is tough in terms of social pressure and the rumor mill. Everyone knows your business, all of it. So be discreet and mature in terms of behavior if you choose to date. I'd also suggest making sure you want to be there if you weren't dating this guy or any other guy for a few years. If the answer is yes, then go for it. Best of luck to you in the application process.

Thank you that’s very helpful. I am not going there because of him. I was interested in the Academy before even meeting him and am already enlisted in the Air Force.

 

[fencersmother]

Ahh, already enlisted. OK, that might have been helpful, since most of us were figuring you were a high school senior and he a doolie - or older. Was he also a prior?

FWIW: if you want us to seriously answer a question and there is significant information which may weigh heavily on answers, it won't really help anyone if you leave off stuff.

For instance:
Question from interested: How do I look as an applicant? I have a 3.8 GPA, and am president of the knitting club, and run track.

Well, that's just spiffy answer several folks, but what the poster left off was: that's a 3.8/5.0 (weighted, of course), s/he is the ONLY member of the knitting club, and "run track" means as a junior high student, s/he ran track on the JV team.

So, if you want the best answers we can give, then please, make sure we have the info we need to help you.

 

[Morgiepiepie]

Ahh, already enlisted. OK, that might have been helpful, since most of us were figuring you were a high school senior and he a doolie - or older. Was he also a prior?

FWIW: if you want us to seriously answer a question and there is significant information which may weigh heavily on answers, it won't really help anyone if you leave off stuff.

For instance:
Question from interested: How do I look as an applicant? I have a 3.8 GPA, and am president of the knitting club, and run track.

Well, that's just spiffy answer several folks, but what the poster left off was: that's a 3.8/5.0 (weighted, of course), s/he is the ONLY member of the knitting club, and "run track" means as a junior high student, s/he ran track on the JV team.

So, if you want the best answers we can give, then please, make sure we have the info we need to help you.

I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was important to the subject, kind of stupid on my part. He is not prior enlisted. I graduated last year and enlisted last year, but have not gone to basic training yet. He also graduated last year. Does this change anything?

 

[Hoodlum15]

If you have filled out paperwork then you should be in the clear. However, being a freshman at USAFA is awkward. Period. Therefore, expect your dating life to also be awkward that first year. Just be prepared for that. It will we weird purely because you're at vastly different stages of your USAFA career. Just get through that first year and then it should be a lot easier.

 

[Pima]

Not to be harsh, but IMPO I think you are really putting the cart before the horse here. Going from the enlisted route is not easy at all especially since you have yet to go to basic. Due to the enlisted path it could take years before you get an appointment, at the very least I would think you will not be appointed until 2019 or 2 yrs from now and maybe more like 3 yrs., by that time I am sure you will know where your relationship stands.

 

[hornetguy]

This actually cannot be answered with certainty. When I was a cadet, I saw prior relationships (documented) both allowed and not allowed. It often came down to the individual AOC to decide. I won't speculate on anything else but I would say, treat the relationship mutually exclusive from USAFA and if the time comes and y'all are a couple when/if you go to BCT then cross that bridge when you get there. The prior relationship stuff is a tricky topic with leadership at USAFA so tread lightly and carefully.