MonteFitzRoy
New Member
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2021
- Messages
- 1
After reading countless threads and posts on this website and others I came across some good advice, but not the advice that I need exclusively. Some background on me: I went to the University of Wyoming this past year and studied Architectural Engineering, I decided that the civilian college life was not for me and went down the route of applying to USNA and USAF. I won nominations to both, then after a tedious process of getting a medically waivered because of depression that occurred in my early years of high school, I was offered an appointment to the Naval Academy.
Prior to attending the academy, during my time at UW, I developed an odd eating habit that really effected my mental state and my performance. It started around this time last year and slowly became worse up until I moved back home halfway through my second semester. I finished out the school year online (everything was already online so it wasn't a huge deal) with a cumulative 4.0 after two 18 credit hour semesters, got back to normal eating habits, was incredibly happy and optimistic, then found out just a couple of weeks before I-Day that I received an appointment. It was a crazy year in my life where a lot of good change happened and by the time I left for the academy I was in the best mental and physical place I could have been.
I-Day hit and still is a massive blur in my head. I enjoyed plebe summer, especially morning workouts around Farragut. However, halfway through the summer the eating habit kicked back in. I immediately went to MDC (the counseling center for Midshipmen) because I knew I needed to figure this out sooner rather than later. Although MDC can't make official diagnoses I was diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder in my second meeting with them. I won't go into the intricacies of the illness but do look it up to get a better idea of what is happening to me.
Here I am, at the start of the 12 week exam period, struggling more than I ever have in my life. These binges happened five to six times a week and completely control my life. It's not like they're stressed induced either; sometimes these waves of the illness come at my least stressful times when I'm honestly quite relaxed. It has gotten to the point where some type of treatment is necessary. One option on the table is finishing out this semester then taking a leave of absence to go to treatment for a couple of months. The only kicker is, after treatment I would redo plebe summer and everything I have already done. It would be my 3rd and 4th time taking courses like Calc I and II, Gen Chem I and II, and Literature. Doing all of this over again is not an option for me; what would be ideal is doing treatment next semester then coming back as a youngster but having to do summer school every summer.
There is only so much information I can divulge in a post so it doesn't become a novel, but at this point treatment is necessary for me to be successful in my future years at the academy. It's not the plebe stuff that triggers the disorder, it's the very nature of the academy like King Hall, mandatory events, PRT's, etc that are around every class year while I'm here. I need to learn some strategies to deal with the disorder that simply aren't feasible to learn on top of everything else while I'm here at the academy. Like I said, going to treatment to learn these things is necessary for my survival at the academy.
Ultimately, it's coming down to choosing to DOR. There is such a stigma around a DOR here at the academy and even back home. The thing right now that is holding me back the most is disappointing friends and family back home who were so proud of me coming here. Back home, I already combatted this eating disorder (even though I didn't know what it was) with the resources available to me. Things like preparing my own meals, grocery shopping, a free schedule to have time to reflect on how I'm feeling, mountains close for hiking and trail running, and the ability to get away from academics whenever I wanted made getting better possible. I know I can get better back home and still be successful, but I don't know if I can do that here. The dream of becoming a pilot or NFO completely goes out the door because I will be restricted line if I receive treatment. All of the opportunities like NOLs courses and LREC's go away because of mandatory summer school. Everything I was looking forward before coming here is being taken away already.
I want to feel like myself again more than anything. Getting better is at the top of my priority list, and even though it is things continue to get worse. The disorder becomes worse and worse as the weeks pass by and the depression I had to waiver through is beginning to show it's face again. I've talked to Chaplains, my Company Officer, my Platoon Leader, classmates, MDC, friends back home, and family but the more guidance and advice I can get, the better.
Prior to attending the academy, during my time at UW, I developed an odd eating habit that really effected my mental state and my performance. It started around this time last year and slowly became worse up until I moved back home halfway through my second semester. I finished out the school year online (everything was already online so it wasn't a huge deal) with a cumulative 4.0 after two 18 credit hour semesters, got back to normal eating habits, was incredibly happy and optimistic, then found out just a couple of weeks before I-Day that I received an appointment. It was a crazy year in my life where a lot of good change happened and by the time I left for the academy I was in the best mental and physical place I could have been.
I-Day hit and still is a massive blur in my head. I enjoyed plebe summer, especially morning workouts around Farragut. However, halfway through the summer the eating habit kicked back in. I immediately went to MDC (the counseling center for Midshipmen) because I knew I needed to figure this out sooner rather than later. Although MDC can't make official diagnoses I was diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder in my second meeting with them. I won't go into the intricacies of the illness but do look it up to get a better idea of what is happening to me.
Here I am, at the start of the 12 week exam period, struggling more than I ever have in my life. These binges happened five to six times a week and completely control my life. It's not like they're stressed induced either; sometimes these waves of the illness come at my least stressful times when I'm honestly quite relaxed. It has gotten to the point where some type of treatment is necessary. One option on the table is finishing out this semester then taking a leave of absence to go to treatment for a couple of months. The only kicker is, after treatment I would redo plebe summer and everything I have already done. It would be my 3rd and 4th time taking courses like Calc I and II, Gen Chem I and II, and Literature. Doing all of this over again is not an option for me; what would be ideal is doing treatment next semester then coming back as a youngster but having to do summer school every summer.
There is only so much information I can divulge in a post so it doesn't become a novel, but at this point treatment is necessary for me to be successful in my future years at the academy. It's not the plebe stuff that triggers the disorder, it's the very nature of the academy like King Hall, mandatory events, PRT's, etc that are around every class year while I'm here. I need to learn some strategies to deal with the disorder that simply aren't feasible to learn on top of everything else while I'm here at the academy. Like I said, going to treatment to learn these things is necessary for my survival at the academy.
Ultimately, it's coming down to choosing to DOR. There is such a stigma around a DOR here at the academy and even back home. The thing right now that is holding me back the most is disappointing friends and family back home who were so proud of me coming here. Back home, I already combatted this eating disorder (even though I didn't know what it was) with the resources available to me. Things like preparing my own meals, grocery shopping, a free schedule to have time to reflect on how I'm feeling, mountains close for hiking and trail running, and the ability to get away from academics whenever I wanted made getting better possible. I know I can get better back home and still be successful, but I don't know if I can do that here. The dream of becoming a pilot or NFO completely goes out the door because I will be restricted line if I receive treatment. All of the opportunities like NOLs courses and LREC's go away because of mandatory summer school. Everything I was looking forward before coming here is being taken away already.
I want to feel like myself again more than anything. Getting better is at the top of my priority list, and even though it is things continue to get worse. The disorder becomes worse and worse as the weeks pass by and the depression I had to waiver through is beginning to show it's face again. I've talked to Chaplains, my Company Officer, my Platoon Leader, classmates, MDC, friends back home, and family but the more guidance and advice I can get, the better.