How much weight did you put on studying that curriculum. How many different types of bacon do you have to prepare and eat?
Don't jinx it!I just want to say I am smiling with a tear in my eye right now... you guys made it to 1000 posts about bacon and no reports, moderation or warnings! You make a moderator proud!
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I wonder if I need to water it more or re-pot it? Maybe I was supposed to use raw bacon?
Hmm....slow day, eh?What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig?
Pulled-Pork
What is a pig's favorite color?
Mahogany!
What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig?
A lifetime ban from the Muppet Show studio.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Why was the pig ejected from the football game?
For playing dirty!
Yesterday a pig invited me to see his new home. Actually it was quite stylish.
Why did the pig cross the road?
He got BOARed.
Who is the smartest pig in the world?
Albert Ein- swine
How do you take a sick pig to the hospital?
In an hambulance!
What do you call a pig that drives recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you call a pig with laryngitis?
Disgruntled.
How do you nurse a pig back to health?
Apply oinkment!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
Porkchop!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
a porky-pine
What do you call a pig that won the lottery?
Filthy rich!
What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?
A pig tale!
What do you call it when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?
Jurassic pork!
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A porkasaurus rex!
What happened when the pig pen broke?
The pig had to use a pencil!
Which magazine does the Big Bad Wolf like to read?
"Porks Illustrated!"
What do you call a pig with a skin condition?
Ham and Eczema
Why did it take the pig hours to cross the road?
Because he was a slow-pork!
Why did the farmer call his pig ink?
Because it always ran out of the pen!
What did the piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride.
Why should you never tell a pig a secret?
Because they love to squeal!
Where do pigs get together?
The meat market.
Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
Lawrence of Poland.
Why can't men get mad cow disease?
Because men are pigs
Where can a pig see the statue of Liberty?
New pork city.
What do Bad Piggies like to do?
Squeal the spotlight.
Where do pigs go to school ?
Hogworts
How do you stop a warthog from charging?
Take away his credit card!
What do you call a trendy pig? Calvin Swine.
Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
A pig fell in the mud.
Do you want to hear a clean joke?
A pig took a bath.
If you eat like a pig, sweat like a pig, and squeal like a pig, then you must taste like bacon.
What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would skyrocket.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What do you call a pig that likes to take off her clothes?
Bacon strips.
What do you call a pig who is wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
And last but not least:
Why did the POG officer make the pigs do his paperwork?
Because it was grunt work.
The small hogs get shipped to him and he tops them off. Never said I knew where they came from!And you call yourself the brother-in-law of a pig FARMER...……..
What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig?
Pulled-Pork
What is a pig's favorite color?
Mahogany!
What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig?
A lifetime ban from the Muppet Show studio.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Why was the pig ejected from the football game?
For playing dirty!
Yesterday a pig invited me to see his new home. Actually it was quite stylish.
Why did the pig cross the road?
He got BOARed.
Who is the smartest pig in the world?
Albert Ein- swine
How do you take a sick pig to the hospital?
In an hambulance!
What do you call a pig that drives recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you call a pig with laryngitis?
Disgruntled.
How do you nurse a pig back to health?
Apply oinkment!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
Porkchop!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
a porky-pine
What do you call a pig that won the lottery?
Filthy rich!
What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?
A pig tale!
What do you call it when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?
Jurassic pork!
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A porkasaurus rex!
What happened when the pig pen broke?
The pig had to use a pencil!
Which magazine does the Big Bad Wolf like to read?
"Porks Illustrated!"
What do you call a pig with a skin condition?
Ham and Eczema
Why did it take the pig hours to cross the road?
Because he was a slow-pork!
Why did the farmer call his pig ink?
Because it always ran out of the pen!
What did the piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride.
Why should you never tell a pig a secret?
Because they love to squeal!
Where do pigs get together?
The meat market.
Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
Lawrence of Poland.
Why can't men get mad cow disease?
Because men are pigs
Where can a pig see the statue of Liberty?
New pork city.
What do Bad Piggies like to do?
Squeal the spotlight.
Where do pigs go to school ?
Hogworts
How do you stop a warthog from charging?
Take away his credit card!
What do you call a trendy pig? Calvin Swine.
Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
A pig fell in the mud.
Do you want to hear a clean joke?
A pig took a bath.
If you eat like a pig, sweat like a pig, and squeal like a pig, then you must taste like bacon.
What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would skyrocket.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What do you call a pig that likes to take off her clothes?
Bacon strips.
What do you call a pig who is wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
And last but not least:
Why did the POG officer make the pigs do his paperwork?
Because it was grunt work.
Pig Porn!