Hi there, I recently became "Board Ready" under my ROTC Cadet Command scholarship status! However, I feel as if my chances are slim of getting the scholarship. Even though the chances don't seem to high, I've decided to look at "next steps," just in case. DoDMERB is definitely on that list... However, the more I find out about DodMERB the more my tiny sliver of hope disappears. I am physically healthy and strong. I'm a female with a 7:05 mile, 8+ pull-ups, 50+ push-ups, 40+ sit-ups for the ROTC scholarship fitness test. I was born very early (NICU). I got my tonsils taken out at age 4 or 5. I broke both my collar bones (at separate times) under age 10. I've had a couple stitches in my forehead and some on my knee under age 16. I have bad vision, but wear contacts and glasses. Those issues are not what I'm worried about... Mentally, my childhood was extremely rough. I went through bouts of (self-diagnosed) depression as my home life was a wreck; extreme parental issues and some abuse. I went to counseling on and off, and over the last 2 years have gone on and off for months at a time since I have stopped living in that household. No medication for my mental health ever. I don't think I have ever been formally diagnosed with depression or anxiety etc., but my childhood issues and issues with my family are why I need/have to go to counseling. The biggest issue of this all...under age 16 I self-harmed. Hardly anybody knows this and it only happened once. I regret this but I cannot change the past. I am better now, as I do not currently live in that parent's home. That is why I fear IF I do get offered a scholarship, all that hard work in school, issues I fought through at home, and hope will be destroyed because of my past. I am not suicidal, I do not take medication, and am on and off in counseling currently. The rest of my application is decent, lots of EC's, leadership positions, PMS interview went very well, scored extremely high on fitness test, multiple AP, honors, dual credit classes, 25 on ACT (yes, I know that is low), multiple Varsity letters in more than 1 sport. I applied to 10 colleges and have heard back from 8/10 and haven't been denied yet by any. Top 4 choices include 2 in-state publics and 2 out-of-state publics universities. I guess I'm asking 2 questions in this...but mainly concerned with the "IF" factor of the medical portion. It's quite alarming, I know...what are my chances? I fear I will not have a way to pay for all of college if I don't get this scholarship or cannot be in ROTC as a regular non-scholarship cadet because of medical/mental health issues. (Yes, I KNOW I want to serve in one way or another, serving is not just another way for me to pay for college. I have considered active duty but ROTC or SMP is my first choice as I can get my degree locked in before serving). Thank you for your time.